J. R. HamantaschenRezensionen

To say J.R.'s third collection does not disappoint would be an understatement. Both the individual stories and the overall collection are longer than previous publications, as the author has stated he is moving towards longer form work. Someday they may even approach the length of his trademark story and collection titles!
What really stands out here is the interweaving of the horror of the everyday and 'mundane' with the supernatural horror and violence one might be expecting from the genre. Whether is the helplessness felt when facing a boss that has it out for you, the bleakness of facing a life alone with no fault or explanation for mistakes made, or the terror of facing day in and out abuse at the hands of childhood bullies, J.R. grounds his stories by connecting these easily identified with experiences of fear and powerlessness with the macabre, surreal, and transcendent.
There is something for every type of horror fan here, and really demonstrates J.R.'s range. 'No One Cares, But I Try' gives a taste of science fiction-horror, perhaps in the vein of Scanners. 'Upon a Path Suddenly Irradiated at Some Halfway Point by Daybeams as Rich as Hers' is probably my favourite, and I feel is the most personal horror, with the elements of genre being an impetus for action, but ultimately having little impact on the characters themselves or the outcome. 'Bleecker and Bleaker: or Gay, for Muesli' (besides having a clever play on words in the title) comes in a close second for me, and though significantly more playful in tone, is similar in that the elements of horror play a minor note in the story. 'Story Title Revealed About Halfway Through...' presents some straight up slasher/sociopath gore. '7099 Brecksville Road, Independence, Ohio' and 'A Gob of Minty Spit in the Sink' give the reader a more tongue-in-cheek approach to horror, and I think readers who may have been exposed to J.R. through stories like the one in 16-bit Terror will really appreciate these.
J.R.'s endings are always particularly strong, and though I would not characterize them as 'twist' endings, I would say they pack a particularly strong emotional punch. In this shorter form work, they sometimes almost seem to lack a denouement at all, but that doesn't detract from their impact. It does help firmly place much of this work in the realm of 'weird fiction', where the reader is frequently left without not only explanation or reason for the events we have just witnessed, but even sometimes left without a true understanding of the outcome.
This, and J.R.'s other work, belong in the library of any fan of modern horror, the 'new weird', and so-called 'bizarro' fiction, though his genre and content spanning work here seems to more closely reseemble Matheson's range.

I won a kindle version #GoodreadsGiveaway

Some people shouldn't be allowed to write. I read Ligotti, Barron and now this J.R. guy and I'm crawling the walls at 3am trying to let a little light in so I can get to sleep. At least someone else understands why I talk to myself in the bathroom. Would you pay $300 to save someone you didn't know? And what about a zombie with poor eyesight? You think you have problems...

A little advice, hide the razor blades and sleeping tabs this is one creepy bleak batch of stories.

4.5/5 stars!

The work of J.R. Hamantaschen has been on my radar for years now, beginning with YOU SHALL NEVER KNOW SECURITY. A DEEP HORROR THAT WAS VERY NEARLY AWE is another short story collection from this author and this is his best yet!

It's easy to see how his work has matured in the depth of these tales and in the range which they cover. We have everything here from mental illness to strange, unknown things in a men's room stall, dissolved marriages and bullied teenagers.

Of all the stories here though, 7099 BRECKSVILLE ROAD, INDEPENDENCE, OHIO was my absolute favorite. Creepy and atmospheric, it was not what I've come to expect from this author at all. I love to be surprised, don't you?

I'm not going to get into each story, (there are eleven of them, total), but I will say that none of them are like the next-they're each stand alone creations. They often have strange titles, which I enjoy, for example one title was: STORY TITLE REVEALED ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH.

This author is quirky. I like that! I never fail to read the blurbs he has listed in the front of the book, because they're never all legit. He'll slip things in there that are funny to discover and they also make me laugh. Even the copyright page has a little bonus.

The only criticism I have, and it's a small one, is that a few of these stories verge on the title of novella, rather than short story. As I said, it's a small beef. That's all I got!

A DEEP HORROR THAT WAS VERY NEARLY AWE was dark, soul crushing, beautiful, funny and intriguing all at once. J.R. Hamantaschen always delivers-just maybe not quite in the way you expect. The variety on display here shows how diverse he can be and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

Highly recommended!

You can get your copy here: https://amzn.to/2AugTvI

*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it.*

**A special thanks to Goodreads for deleting all of my reading updates on this book. All my story notes *poofed* away which I did NOT find helpful.**

This book is a kick ass collection of weird and dark stories. In the very best tradition of weird tales, Robert Aickman and Thomas Ligotti among them, this collection stands tall.

There's some nihilism here, there's some Lovecraftian angles here and then almost smack dab in the middle, there's some major laughs. I think the lighter story was perfectly placed, because my main complaint about the last Ligotti collection I read was that it was too nihilistic, resulting in the urge to kill myself about halfway through. Mr. Hamantaschen wisely avoids this.

Nearly every story in this collection worked for me but my favorites were:

Endemic An imaginative tale about a creative way to catch perpetrators of a certain type of crime.

There's Always Something in the Misfortune of Our Friends That Doesn't Displease Us Focused on IT,(Something Gleeful), and its focus on the horrible patterns we humans get into in our daily living and then using those patterns to achieve its horrible goals. The storytelling style here was absolutely perfect and I loved it.

Nothing This one worked well for me and that's all I'm going to say.

There Must Be Lights Burning Brighter, Somewhere The last story in the collection and the longest. Some killer descriptions here of horrific events (the girl's back? WTF was that?) and the guilt (?) that plagues the survivors. A powerful story, both in description and creativity.

Lastly, the aforementioned funny story: "Jordan, When Are You Going To Settle Down, Get Married and Have Us Some Children? I don't even know what to say. Horrifically funny doesn't seem to cover it, but there you have it, just the same.

Overall, I adored this collection. I feel like I do need to mention that there were a number of small errors in the edition I received. Normally that irks me, and it did here, but the stories were just so damn good, I was able to overlook them. That's the ONLY complaint I have about this sublime collection.

I HIGHLY recommend this book for fans of weird tales, such as those by Ligotti and Aickman, and to fans of short stories, in general. Bravo J.R. Hamantaschen! Bravo!

Okay I admit...
When I first picked up this book I read the title and I honestly had no idea what this book had in store for me. At first glance I thought the title was a bit cheesy. But then after having read the introduction and the copyright page I found that this was no ordinary book. This was a book written in the Lovecraftian style.
A total of 11 short stories that will invoke more than inner thoughts and fears... they will invoke the very horror of the human psyche!
Although the author writes some of the stories in a Lovecraftian format, it is very much updated to make for very thoughtful yet horrific reads throughout the collection of short stories. The author does lack the word usage and sentence structure that Lovecraft penned himself but I do think this is all for the better in order to write more comprehensive stories for the current day and age. Still keeping to the bones of the matter however, this author does a brilliant job of following his mentor's outline.
Not all of the stories are written this way however and the author obviously toys with different writing styles. I personally like this because it keeps the reader guessing. Short story compilations that do not follow the same format each and every time are good for the reader to keep them on their toes. Most authors cannot pull this off but this author did beautifully.
Like most collections of short stories, some I liked and some not so much but all were written with the same style and panache that this author is able to pull off and very well indeed. For the most part I enjoyed the entire collection. It harkened me back to my younger days when I used to read horror short stories in between classes and during lunch to inspire my own short stories. I would like to thank this author personally for bringing such wonderful memories back to me. I had nearly forgotten 😘
This book is on my list of books to recommend to those who like horror and appreciate the Lovecraftian style done well.

My Review of “You Shall Never Know Security” by J.R. Hamantaschen

November 29, 2011

This book is comprised of 13 short stories. I have to say I loved this book. I like dark humor and sarcasm. I would recommend this book to anyone that likes dark and sarcastic humor to taken to its fullest extent. My favorite story was “Endemic”. I am a big fan of poetic justice and I think this story is the epitome of it. This book made me expand my thought process. I look forward to reading many more books by J.R. Hamantaschen.

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through Goodreads.

First I must apologize for my delay in both reading this book and posting of my review. Life has a way in interrupting sometimes.

That being said I have only two words to sum up this book. Fluid madness. J.R. has a way of taking his madness and making your brain absorb it through your eyes. When you read this collection, go back and read them again........... maybe even thrice. No matter how many times you read it, read it.

Overall, I liked most of the stories in this collection. I found them more bizarre than anything else; weird but not scary or disturbing. I wish some of the stories were more detailed and more deranged.

I received this book as a gift. I have to admit that it was much more than I had expected in a GOOD way. This is a collection of supreme and unique horror stories... not your basic, run-of-the-mill horror. Each story begins and drags you through wonderfully agonizing suspense before reaching that cringe-worthy ending. I really enjoyed reading each story and devoured this book very quickly. I highly recommend this to anyone into the darker side of life.

To start, I won this book courtesy of Goodreads First Reads. I was in the mood for something dark and it did not disappoint. Hamantaschen's stories have a way of crawling under your skin and the author does a great job of playing with the reader's expectations. The things that this guy has dreamed up!

My favorites:
Wonder
Endemic
A Parasite Inside Your Brain
"Jordan, When Are You Going to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Us Some Children"

Actual rating: 3.5 stars

I love horror, but I�Ûªve never been a huge fan of the gore-for-gore‰Ûªs sake variety (though I appreciate gore a lot when it‰Ûªs integrated well); I prefer psychological horror, weird situations delving into the intersection between reality and madness. The thirteen stories in this collection are my favorite kind of horror: ones with a slow build and mundane situations that seem only a bit off, then grow more and more disturbing the more they are developed. They are cryptic and suggestive: not everything is explained, more is left up to the imagination, endings are ambiguous, and the mood is often more important than the plot. Several of the stories remind me of Lovecraft (or what I know of what people say about Lovecraft in anthologies based on his writings, since I am no heavy Lovecraft reader), albeit much less overwrought, with the idea that lurking behind our mundane world are unfathomable depths of horror and strangeness. The writing itself is a mix of a minimalist, direct style (no purple prose here!) with enough erudite language to stop it from being plainspoken.

The narrator of each story often seems like the same kind of person, whether male or female, which ties the collection together though it doesn‰Ûªt necessarily show a lot of range in writing style. They are disaffected, out of place, disoriented, cynical, haunted by failures, looking for meaning in a world that suddenly makes no sense. Hamantaschen does an excellent job conveying this wealth of ineffable disquiet:

‰ÛÏBut this feeling that coursed through him, it was so familiar ‰ÛÒ he felt it all the time ‰ÛÒ but he could never put his finger on what it was. It wasn‰Ûªt anxiety: there was no tapping of pens or fidgeting of the feet. He wasn‰Ûªt fearing anything, either. Truth-be-told, he felt pretty comfortable in bed alongside this sweet gal he had come to know and love, a girl he loved as much as he ever imagined him knowing-and-loving anybody. But, still, this feeling . . . an emotion of undiagnosed vintage, but of determinable weight. It was heavy. It weighed him down. It occupied his core, he could picture it coiled in his gut, something knotty and thick to accompany his intestines.‰Û ‰ÛÒ ‰ÛÏThere Must Be Lights Burning Brighter, Somewhere‰Û [252]

I know this feeling, though like the narrator, I can‰Ûªt give it a name. It just is.

Here‰Ûªs a brief run-through of my thoughts on the individual stories.

A Lower Power ‰ÛÒ Dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship issues take a suggestively monstrous turn in this musing narrative on the difficulties of dating the self-aware, grinning bad boy (a ‰ÛÏtool wearing sunglasses in the mall‰Û and a perpetual leather jacket) when it turns out not to be an act, but a protective side affect of his secret birthright. I loved the cut-off ending (it leaves off in the perfect spot to really engage one‰Ûªs twisted imagination) and what it means for a monster to discover his purpose in life ‰ÛÒ with a little help from his girl.

Wonder ‰ÛÒ This is a sinister revenge story in which the nameless narrator speaks directly to his ex-lover (ex-friend?), patiently walking him through the steps of his ‰ÛÒ and his family‰Ûªs ‰ÛÒ inevitable bloody end, from the first tiny inkling of worry to a crescendo of unimaginable horror. Like many of the stories in this collection, it starts off with a simple scenario that slowly grows twisted, and that‰Ûªs a feat to do in a story that‰Ûªs only four pages.

Endemic ‰ÛÒ This story made me uncomfortable, since it deals so explicitly with rape and the disquieting suggestion that all men are potential rapists in their deepest, darkest selves. Read this after watching the movie Teeth.

A Parasite Inside Your Brain ‰ÛÒ Living with depression is hard, but when even Cymbalta can‰Ûªt help, maybe you should try a creepy-ass arachnid that crawls in through your ear canal and burrows in your brain. It chemically regulates your moods and gives you a sense of purpose and it has absolutely no bad side effects! I thought this story was a little on the nose, but there is a tragic irony in this tale about the futility of so-called medical solutions, and since I‰Ûªm married to a doctor I found it interesting to think about.

Come In, Distraction ‰ÛÒ This story starts out innocuous ‰ÛÒ a British guy in a bar trying to use his Britishness to pick up chicks ‰ÛÒ but slowly delves into a seriously disturbing alternate history in which being British means something totally different than what you‰Ûªd expect. This one is a great example of how to initially create a sense of safety ‰ÛÒ a familiar, everyday situation ‰ÛÒ then subtly infuse it with an unsettlingly alien backstory.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction ‰ÛÒ Written as an official court document of a first-degree murder charge, this struck me as the most Lovecraftian story in the collection, as the woman charged with the crime seems to be a harbinger of an evil on the verge of breaking through into the real world.

Sorrow Has Its Natural End ‰ÛÒ Max, a young man who is functionally blind due to detached retinas, seeks out a man who had successful corrective surgery for a similar problem, and their odd connection gives Max an idea of how he can see again. This is not my favorite story, but then I have a major squick with anything involving eyes, so I had to skim some of it. I don‰Ûªt want to spoil Max‰Ûªs big reveal, so I‰Ûªll just say that overall, I‰Ûªm just not sure I really got how everything tied together in this one.

‰ÛÏJordan, When Are You Going to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Us Some Children?‰Û ‰ÛÒ I‰Ûªm not sure what I think of this graphic scatological story. It‰Ûªs both gross and fascinating and has a real punch of an ending. Some of the stories in this collection blend together because of the similar narrative voice and tone, so I can‰Ûªt always remember what each one is about when I just see the title (I keep forgetting what ‰ÛÏNothing‰Û is about, for example, until I look up the story), but this is definitely one of those stories I will never forget.

There is A Family of Gnomes Behind My Walls, And I Swear I Won‰Ûªt Disappoint Them Any Longer ‰ÛÒ I love titles like this. The long titles in this collection tell a story all on their own, and this is my favorite of those. It‰Ûªs genius. On the other hand, I‰Ûªm not sure what the heck actually happened in this trippy story of two men sharing a loft where they become convinced there is something of ‰ÛÏeldritch possibility‰Û beyond their kitchen wall. Whatever was going on beyond the wall was a little too philosophical and abstract of a monster for me, especially since the big moment happens off-page when the narrator is unconscious. In this case, my imagination fails, too overcome with images of the Travelocity Gnome popping out of a Doctor Who crack in the wall. That‰Ûªs on me.

College -- This story was a good philosophical examination of a familiar moral dilemma, as posed to a college student by his professor ‰ÛÒ if you were offered a certain sum of money, would you press a button that would condemn another person to death, a person you would never meet nor hear about? The professor‰Ûªs tricky double-speak is well done, but overall I‰Ûªve read this scenario a million times and this didn‰Ûªt do anything new with it.

There‰Ûªs Always Something In The Misfortune Of Our Friends That Doesn‰Ûªt Displease Us ‰ÛÒ Another lovely suggestive title. This is my favorite story of the collection. It‰Ûªs told from the monster‰Ûªs point of view (and I use ‰ÛÏmonster‰Û loosely) as it dons a skin suit and goes undercover to sow discord and uncertainty among guests at a wedding celebration. It has a lot of excellent wordplay and some of the greatest descriptions of life‰Ûªs (or death‰Ûªs?) utter meaninglessness that I‰Ûªve read. As the Something of the title tells one of his hapless victims just before his death: ‰ÛÏYou kept telling yourself that every setback you encountered was building up to something worthwhile. That you were going to be redeemed. You aren‰Ûªt. This is it.‰Û Do we all feel this way upon our death? An uncomfortable notion.

Nothing ‰ÛÒ This is probably the most existential story of the bunch. It‰Ûªs a lengthy solipsistic rumination on the brain‰Ûªs ability to overanalyze everything, including itself, until the narrator almost breaks through into seeing the world for the as it really is -- a ‰ÛÏdivine insight‰Û. Almost is the key word.

There Must Be Lights Burning Brighter, Somewhere ‰ÛÒ My second favorite story. It starts out with three people hiding in the closet of a bar while an indescribable monster rips the other patrons to shreds, and follows one of the group during the aftermath as he attempts to come to terms with the price he paid to survive. This tragic tale is the most complete and evocative story in the collection.

Favorite stories:
A Lower Power
Wonder
There‰Ûªs Always Something, etc.
There Must Be Lights, etc.

When I was in college, I worked nights as a dispatcher for a taxi company. Occasionally drivers, the mechanic or the owner might drop in for various reasons (certainly not to talk with me), but for the most part, it was me alone for 6-8 hours in an office within a dark, cavernous garage in a not-very-good part of town. I’ll be honest: the place sometimes creeped me out. There would be noises like hot cars doing that clicking thing as they cooled down, or ventilator fans turning on and off, the refrigerator in the break area turning on and off, probably things like rats and cats that inhabited the spaces. Then there were outside noises- cars driving by, occasional sirens, gunfire on more than one occasion. None of it was terrifying, and some nights it didn’t bother me at all, but sometimes it was a bit unsettling... just a low-level simmering unease. If I got to thinking about it, I could imagine there was some person or thing in the garage there with me, waiting for the moment of perfect vulnerability when it could... well, I don’t know... “get” me. Kill me, I guess. Maybe eat me. More likely rob me.

This is the kind of horror I respond to. The slow-boil creepiness of the unknown, with a touch of hyper-awareness at my own vulnerability, and a sense that my surroundings are slightly hostile. I think most of Stephen King’s stuff is not remotely scary, but The Shining? Man… being trapped alone in a giant snowbound hotel? That scares the hell out of me… and that’s even without a psychopathic Jack Nicholson running around with his axe!

You Shall Never Know Security is very good at creating this particular flavor of horror. There are no stories about knife-wielding lunatics, or zombie hordes, or giant sharks, but there are stories about sentient alien intelligences- possibly predatory, definitely not benevolent. Where do they come from? Outer space? Hell? Some alternate dimension? Some supernatural portal? We don't know. We know they come to kill or inhabit Earthlings, to read our thoughts, to ruin our wedding receptions and our private time on the toilet. There are stories that leave you uncertain whether the narrator was insane, or whether something supernatural just happened. There were two stories that made my wife ask me “Why are you making that face?” That is an extremely good sign for a horror book. Sure, horror is very subjective; what punches my buttons may not punch yours, but if you glean from the first two paragraphs that some of your buttons might be the same as some of my buttons, then I will tell you that these are some very, very good stories.

I notice some of the other reviews have a bone to pick with the writing and style. I agree that there are a lot of proofreading errors, and more than a few awkward word choices. It was rough enough around the edges for me to knock a star off, and I don't consider myself a "stickler". On the other hand, the narrative is fluid. It reads like Lovecraft told by dark, slightly Goth streetwise present-day twentysomethings, instead of ponderous academics of the 1930’s. Kind of an [author:H.P. Lovecraft|9494] meets Caris O'Malley meets Christy Leigh Stewart... and that's some pretty disturbing stuff right there. Overall, J.R. Hamantaschen strikes me as a slightly unpolished new author with a hell of an imagination. I think if he keeps at his craft, he’s going to write some brilliant, crazy shit that will really fuck us all up.

There are thirteen stories in this collection and none of them are called `You Shall Never Know Security'. That, as it turns out, is J.R.'s personal message to the reader. Prepare to mutter `what the goddamn hell?' and look up from the book and find a good, solid, ordinary object in your home to focus on by way of relief before being dragged inexorably back down into his almost conversational narratives on things that are more horrible than most people can be bothered to imagine.

Truly dark fiction, it turns out, doesn't come in just one flavour... 'Wonder' is a short crescendo of revenge, an example of craftsmanship that is awe-inspiring, in that it takes a mere three-and-a-half pages (of largish text) to inspire a state of absolute horror. Some authors would have eked that imagery out over three books. 'A Parasite Inside Your Brain' is terribly sad and 'Come In, Distraction' has sadness cohabiting with chilling and blunt horror. '"Jordan, When Are You Going to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Us Some Children"' is THE most disturbing shit I have read in my life. 'There's Always Something in the Misfortune of Friends that Doesn't Displease Us' is utterly enjoyable. The end of the first story, 'A Lower Power', energised me with fear, as did the beginning of the last story, 'There Must be Lights Burning Brighter, Somewhere'; a pitch which settled into a desperate desire not to know what the hell had gone on in that bar.

Read the collection. Lose a little sleep (maybe a little lunch). Keep the light on in the stairway. Glance out of darkened windows at night and consider what might be out there, with fresh insight into how impossible our survival would be against it. Go to work and pretend everything's okay. And don't say you weren't warned. It's all in the title.