Meg KissingerRezensionen

An interesting, pretty horrific story of a very dysfunctional family: mother's mental illness, father's alcoholism, two suicides, etc. Told in an unsettling matter-of-fact way that felt distancing. I kept getting the 8 children mixed up, didn't care all that much about the long family history in the beginning, and wished Kissinger had approached the difficult life she lived more personally rather than as a slightly removed journalist.½

i could not stop listening to this book. Meg Kissinger is so good at reporting/documenting/writing her family's history. this is not a light read by any means, but so incredible. it was thought-provoking in so many ways and one i won’t forget. compellingly written and deeply researched. Meg Kissinger shares her story of growing up in a family that fought mental illness behind closed doors in an era where such struggles were not to be talked about openly. Meg has brought to light the reality of the ways we treat people with mental illness and by sharing her story hopes to continue the fight for change. beyond the topic of mental illness there are many other interesting threads of history in this book that i’m dying to unravel further - the 15,000 pilots in training that died on american soil, the boom of pharmaceuticals, the “twilight sleep” that was induced upon pregnant women, John F. Kennedy Jr.’s unrealized dream of better mental healthcare. nowadays we talk more openly about mental illnesses, but there is still a long way to go in how we treat people with mental illness and in some ways it seems as though we have regressed. why after all these years can we as a society still not figure this out? why can’t we do better? when did we stop trying?

This memoir is written by journalist Meg Kissinger, one of eight children born in rapid succession to an emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother and her volatile, alcoholic husband in an Irish Catholic family. It begins in the 1950s when mental health issues weren't publicly acknowledged due to a fear of judgement by the community and a lack of understanding.

Meg's mother was frequently missing with no explanation when she eventually returned. The children were left to sort out their feelings and anxieties on their own. From the outside, their large family lived well with their father earning a very good living as a salesman until the alcoholism rendered him an undesirable employee on numerous occasions. The onset of mental illness in the family resulted in two sibling suicides with others struggling to comprehend the enormity of the loss. Nothing was ever discussed or explained within the family, leading again to everyone sorting out their feelings, accompanied by guilt in not having done something to prevent the suicides.

Meg's transparency about the need for more mental health resources, her advocacy of AA for alcoholics and her pain at the loss of so much in this family makes it an absorbing read. Although told in the first person, it is reminiscent of Hidden Valley Road. We all have so much work to do to destigmatize mental illness for the sakes of those individuals suffering from something as debilitating as a physical illness and their families who need our support and understanding.

[3.75] Those of us who have faced the agony of helping a loved one battle mental illness will find Kissinger’s brave memoir relatable and enlightening. One can cut some slack to the author for the book’s painfully slow start given the fact that she aims to provide readers with revealing snapshots of her seven siblings, parents and grandparents. I didn’t remotely engaged until about a third of the way into the book. Fortunately, the wave of laudable reviews spurred me to read on. These favorable reviews are merited. Kissinger uses her impressive reporting skills to paint a stark portrait of a family that has spent decades coping with mental illness — and the stigma that accompanies this journey. How tempting it can be to store away secrets under the cloak of a cozy, family-focused lifestyle. In the latter chapters where the author focuses on the power of investigative journalism to spur reforms, she wisely acknowledges the fine line that exists between playing the role of an advocate for mentally ill people and being the beacon of light that casts a spotlight on the issue. Her message is one that should be stressed in journalism classes: Don’t be an advocate. Tell the stories that accurately portray the issue, and let others be the advocates. Kissinger has written a valuable book in an era when suicide rates have increased and promoting mental health awareness has never been more important.

At the height of the AIDs crisis in the 80s people did not speak of the epidemic, including President Reagan who was quite clear that if it was only killing Gay people (presumably he would have used different words) it didn't matter to real Americans. The rallying cry for those of us who disagreed was Silence=Death. That was true of AIDs, once the talking started so did the path to managing the illness. In this book Meg Kissinger wants us to know the same rules apply to mental illness.

Kissinger is a reporter who has written about America's treatment of the mentally ill for years (she has been a Pulitzer finalist and is now a professor at the Columbia School of Journalism.) She is also a member of a family that has felt the pain of mental illness more than most. Both parents were mentally ill and self-medicated with alcohol. All eight of the children (yes, 8, the Catholic church has a lot to answer for) have been affected by mental illness. Two of the eight siblings died by suicide, and two others had suicidal ideation. Through all of this, the directions to the children were clear. Shut up and deal with it. Mommy disappears for a time, shut up and deal with it. Daddy loses job after job while buying nearly everything he sees, squirreling away purchases of luxury goods so no one can see. His behavior moves the family from affluence to penury costing the children a life they saw as normal. Shut up and deal with it Children are wholly unsupervised and are seriously harmed over and over. Do not speak of it. Ambulances in front of the house are a common occurrence but no one is allowed to discuss why. The ambulances stop when one sibling suicides in a brutal manner after being repeatedly saved when trying less gruesome means. The family is told that if anyone asks it was an accident. And that silence made things worse. It made the surviving family members sicker and sadder, and possibly it took away opportunities to thwart a second suicide. And the collective silence about mental illness makes this worse for millions of other families feeling the impact of mental illness and allows the state to get away with no or substandard services.

Kissinger tells a gripping story, and makes suggestions for meaningful change in personal behavior and policy. The writing is impeccable and honest, the story relatable, the message incredibly important. Often in books like this where the writer must make herself vulnerable, the story can seem distancing -- tied to this one particular person with these very specific circumstances. That is generally fine, and there are many books I have loved where that was true. But in this book I loved that it did not feel like I was reading about one particular family, this felt like a story that impacts nearly everyone based on personal experience. It is as if she atomizes the tale rather than distilling it. This is a book that shows off the importance of a journalistic style in telling our stories.

nonfiction/memoir - journalist delves into her own family's collective experiences in dealing with mental health crises (father with alcoholism and bipolar disorder, mother with alcoholism and severe anxiety/depression compounded with postpartum trauma from birthing 8 kids over 12 years, siblings dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, manic paranoia, substance abuse and trauma).

heartbreaking but important, showing how difficult/nearly impossible for people to get help for their loved ones, and the toll taken by each loss and traumatic event.

Thank you to @CeladonBooks, #LittleFreeLibrary, @LittleFreeLibrary and #While You Were Out.

At first when I saw this book on various websites, I wasn't sure if I wanted to read it since it seemed like such a sad, depressing book to read when I try to avoid them but like life, not every book, fiction or non-fiction can be happy but I got a “surprise” copy from Celadon and I wasn't about to pass up reading it.

This was sad and depressing to read with all the problems with 8 kids and their parents, but yet this family had happy times it seems over the years.

Get out those box of tissues since you'll need them inevitably during the whole book or at least I did.

Thank you Meg Kissinger for sharing your family and your life, good and bad. I loved seeing the pictures of this family over the years. Part of the book towards the end was about her writing articles for her newspapers where she worked about the mentally ill and how the state/government were handling poorly the accommodations, etc.

I'm hoping that when I put it in my LFL, someone will pick it up and “enjoy” it as much as I did.

Meg Kissinger’s While You Were Out is such a powerful book. She has been such a loud voice, such an advocate for adequate, competent, compassionate mental health care, has never hesitated to speak up about the failures of the system, and reading this book makes it clear just how personal it is for her. She is not a random do-gooder working in the abstract; she has experienced the workings of the mental health system from all angles, experienced the frustration of knowing help is unlikely and a cure is next to impossible. All of that is strong and powerful enough, but when she reveals her own family dynamics, issues and tragedies occurring over so many years it becomes a book that you absolutely cannot turn away from.

Her portrayal of growing up in the 1960s is stunningly accurate. We envied all those other families that had it all together, who weren’t as “nuts” as our own families were. Financially comfortable, nicer homes, nicer clothes, and, we were certain, nicer parents. When somebody gossiped about one of those perfect family members that did something scandalous we just thought “oh well, every family has one crazy person” and we didn’t feel quite so envious for a little while.

We weren’t very compassionate, either. Nobody needed to know our shameful secrets. And mental illness was definitely something you were supposed to be ashamed of. We didn’t even say mental illness, and certainly not depressed or suffering from trauma. Anxiety? What was that? If your husband had a good job and you were so lucky you could stay home with your children, what on earth did you have to be anxious about. Everybody drank. If you couldn’t control it or cope that was on you and you’d better keep it hidden.

While I’m not sure there are many families that could match trauma for trauma, tragedy for tragedy, dysfunction for dysfunction with Kissinger’s family, it has a familiar feel to it and brought out a lot of “aha” moments of understanding. It is heartbreaking to watch the story of her family unfold. From the distance of time it’s easy to wonder why her parents didn’t stop drinking, didn’t get help, couldn’t see how so many of their children were seriously suffering and how every one of their children had emotional problems. But we didn’t talk about those things, didn’t even have the words, and furthermore, we were terrified that saying it out loud would somehow make the worst thing imaginable happen.

Thanks to Celadon Books for providing an advance copy of While You Were Out to me as a Celadon Book Reader via NetGalley. It is thought-provoking, heart-breaking and hopeful. Well-written, detailed, riveting. I voluntarily leave this review; all opinions are my own.

#FirstLine ~ When we were little, my sister Patty and I liked to pretend that ferocious tigers lurked in the space between our twin beds, just waiting to rip us to shreds.

Prepare to embark on an emotional journey like no other with this remarkable memoir. Through its pages, the author shares a deeply personal account that is both brilliantly written and profoundly touching. With raw honesty, they invite readers into the most intimate corners of their life, laying bare their struggles, triumphs, and heartbreaks. The narrative is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as the author navigates through life's most challenging moments with unwavering courage. The emotional depth of this memoir is staggering – the stories are heart-wrenching and the experiences are recounted with such vividness that you feel every emotion alongside the author. Each chapter is a poignant reminder of the beauty and fragility of life, leaving a lasting impact that lingers long after the last page is turned. The author's writing skillfully captures the complexity of their emotions, and their vulnerability is both inspiring and humbling. While the stories may be heartbreaking, they are also a testament to the power of the human spirit to find hope and healing even in the darkest of times. This is a memoir that will touch your soul and make you reflect on your own journey. It's a reminder that life's challenges can shape us into something stronger, and that even in our moments of deepest sorrow, there is still room for the beauty of resilience and the triumph of the human heart. Truly a masterpiece that will resonate with readers long after they've closed the book.

This book was hard to read–and hard to set down. Author Meg Kissinger’s family suffered with mental illness that affected generations. Depression, bipolar illness, and alcoholism that resulted in arrests, substance abuse, hospitalizations, institutionalization, and suicide. No one was spared, for even those not born with mental health issues were impacted by family trauma that resulted in guilt, shame, anxiety, and denial.

Kissinger’s father was a charming and successful traveling businessman unable to control his spending; he was bipolar and an alcoholic. Her mother was a brilliant woman who, as a Roman Catholic, couldn’t choose how many children to bear, even when everyone knew it was wearing her down. Depressed, she took drugs and used alcohol, and was often hospitalized without explanation to the children.

The parents were well-off and the children had a live-in nanny, went to fancy summer camps, could buy what they wanted. But the father’s manic runaway spending and self-medication with alcohol impacted their financial security.

With dry humor, Kissinger relates the children’s near-death experiences. The children’s disease manifested around puberty.

First, Nancy acted out with rebellious anger and risky behavior. She became suicidal. After her death, the family hid the truth. Brother Jack became depressive. Danny showed bipolar symptoms and eventually committed suicide.

Kissinger is almost my age. It is horrifying to realize how parents, teachers, religious leaders, and doctors had no paradigm for understanding what was happening to her family members.

Seeking a home for her depressed brother Jack, Kissinger’s investigation revealed a lack of adequate, safe places to live.

Kissinger married and forged a career in journalism, her work named as a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in reporting. She investigated mental illness for a series of articles. She was convinced to write about her family, a harrowing decision but also healing.

Her research for this book resulted in new insights into her family as she interviewed family and delved into the records.

Kissinger shares her heartbreaking family history with candor. Her work has helped others struggling with mental illness in the family. And will enlighten many of us with the raw truth of how the mentally ill fall have been treated by society.

Thanks to the publisher for a free book.