Anna Machin

I wanted to like this book a bit more than I did. Here, finally, is a book that doesn't (1) merely enjoin dads to not be absent, ineffectual, or somesuch; (2) treat them as mere adjuncts to mom; and (3) play to any of the stereotypes of the useless, overwhelmed, and/or finally-having-an-epiphany-about-children-and-moms man. Here, finally, is a book that does (1) recognize that dads have a real role to play (affirmatively, rather than negatively); (2) that that role is unique and separate from mom's (again, affirmatively, rather than negatively); and (3) asks why (and I will add, why "10 years into 3rd or 4th wave feminism") dads are still given little to no research, support, or recognition.

Now, some women (moms or not) might gag on that last, but Dr Machin is asking about research, support, and recognition distinct from the slap on the back and the oohs-and-aahs (that so often stand-in for real support, etc.) when dad (gasp!) actually managed to feed baby without poking it in the eye or dropping it. (Moms might hate it when dad gets so much attention for changing a diaper; dads hate it, as they change their 2114th diaper, even more...)

Turns out, dads uniquely and irreplacably affect children's mental health and educational outcomes. Dads uniquely and irreplacably affect their children's success at parenting when that day comes. Dads have unique forms for interaction (including the "classic" rough-and-tumble play) that form unique bonds and have unique effects on children. Dads are uniquely important at helping kids through their adolescent years.

Some of this might be unwelcome news for some folks: Dr. Machin takes some pains to include adoptive, gay, and non-Western fatherhood, but I did feel like there was a rather unaddressed elephant in the room RE: single moms (especially without partners/boyfriends) or even lesbian parents (if fathers, even "social fathers", are uniquely important then "traditional" or "conservative" takes on the father's role are at least in part on-the-money and some "liberal" or "progressive" arguments about family life/structure seem conversely -if only in part- weakened.)

All-in-all, a welcome read that invites the changing culture toward "involved fathering" to now take the next step of really exploring, recognizing, and supporting fatherhood. In that respect, I loved the book. But for a pop-sci book.... a little too pop-sci for me, in style. I would have appreciated a bit more numeracy (e.g. warm dads decrease teenage depression... by how much? Vs what baseline? How much to martinet-dads increase is?) I would also have appreciated addressing some of the elephants more heads on; in some sense this is also a question of 'effect size.' So dads are important... then what are some represtative numbers? Maybe a discussion of how you control for confounding variables... All that could be done as some level without getting *too* technical, and would at least give some better sense of what is being talked about. I mean, I'm a dad to 3 and think I'm a rockstar, and I welcome someone writing a whole book that isn't about how bad women have it and how I need to stop spending all my time playing Xbox; and I'm doing bedtime stories regardless, but it would also be nice to know if all my new-found dad superpowers are going to raise my kids reading level by 20% ...or 2%.… (mehr)