Clara Nipper

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

After only two pages, I was disgusted by the main character and couldn't bring myself to read another word. I nearly stopped after only a few sentences into the first page when Jill tells one of the police officers on site to suck her dick. The phone call on the second page pushed me over the edge. If the author's intention was to make the protagonist of the story seem like an arrogant and terrible person, she succeeded. After I quit, I looked at some of the reviews of friends and feel much better about my decision to stop when I did. I think my time will be better spent trying another author.
… (mehr)

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and Bold Strokes Books in exchange for an honest review.

This is the first book I’ve read by this author.

I am both reluctant to write this review, and vaguely unsure how to rate this book. But let’s see what I can do, eh?

First off, and I double checked this issue just now, this book is marketed as a Mystery, so let’s start off with the mystery:

Mystery
My first question would be: What mystery? Right, let’s move on.

The book stars a police detective in Tulsa Oklahoma named Jill Rogers. She is self described as being gung-ho on policing, top-notch, really really good. Meanwhile her boss constantly makes comments indicating that he thinks she’s dumb, and would let her go if she wasn’t just so gosh darn lucky on her cases – closing so many of them.

The first body involves someone found in a blood smeared room. Shot multiple times. Expectation is that the person was killed by bullet. Except, Jill notices, the bullet holes didn’t bleed (or something like that) then notices a line around the body’s neck. Therefore, strangled to death and shot afterwards. Jill’s expert eyesight finds what, apparently, no one else was able to find – a bullet sitting in a sink. Jill, after providing her expertise, immediately heads off to another body. She’s going to help a sheriff named Perryman with a dead body. That first body? Never again mentioned in this book. At least, not that I recall. And I was looking. Did I dream this sequence? Did this death not actually occur in this book? Okay, fearing I’d gone insane, I just checked. Yep, the first body is as I said. Hmms.

Right, so, second body. A woman’s body has been found on the side of the road. Everyone and their dog (not really) believe that it is a simple case of accidental death and to record it as such and close the case file – everyone that is except for Sheriff Perryman and Detective Jill Rogers. One thing before I move on – what the fuck? Even if it’s a case of accidental death – the body shows evidence of being hit and dragged to death. That, in and of itself, even if accidental, is a crime. The DA and everyone just wants the file closed? WTF? Right, whatever. Neither Perryman nor Rogers accepts this decision and they investigate. Mostly Perryman. Rogers is kind of busy being a bitch elsewhere. Sadly, the story follows Rogers, so the investigation is mostly ‘off-page’ and being handled by Perryman. Except for an interview or two.

Right. So body three and four – husband and wife. Rogers, in yet another moment of insanity, learns of yet another body that ‘should have been hers’ and decides, right then and there, to go to the crime scene. But she has no car. And the one car she has been using she is told she can’t use. No taxis can get to her quick enough. So she hires a limo. Arrives at the crime scene. Finds dead husband, sexually assaulted and dead wife. Immediately believes she knows who did it. Roars off to ‘catch them’. One of the few times Rogers is actually shown actively ‘investigating’.

And then the fifth body – mentioned but not seen – a person connected to the sheriff. Rogers offers to help Perryman. She is turned down. D.A. mentions a twist. Rogers doesn’t investigate. She’s just told this twist. Later she decides to visit someone, the probable murderer and gets shot at. While there she finds what she needs to make her case – through shrewd observation.

I’ve a vague idea that one I marked as the fifth body was actually the sixth mentioned, but I can’t recall what other body was found/mentioned.

So, where exactly is the mystery? Yeah, I mentioned a bunch of deaths that could have been investigated and been mysteries to be solved. But, as mentioned, Rogers doesn’t actually investigate any of them (other than participating in an interview or two on the case she worked on with Perryman) except for the husband & wife murder. Which she solves, but only after running around like a moron. Actually, she didn’t solve it, or at least complete the investigation, for a reason I mention in a spoiler down in police procedure.

A bunch of deaths which are either ignored, investigated by others, or poorly investigated by Rogers does not make a mystery. Maybe a humor book, but not a mystery.

So, is this more of a ‘police procedural’ book? Real cops have multiple unrelated crimes to work on. Is this supposed to be some gritty realism type of book? Well, let’s see . . .

Police Procedure
Jill Rogers is one of the worst police officers I’ve ever seen depicted in fiction. Who isn’t, you know, actively corrupt or attempting to get themselves fired (for whatever weird reason they might be attempting to do that).

Despite thinking of herself as being something of a supercop, Rogers has some rather major flaws.
1) Rogers has poor gun discipline. She pulls her gun at the drop of a hat. It’s almost instinctual – which is shown in one scene when she almost pulled her gun when someone surprised her. While talking with subjects in recorded interviews, Jill plays with her gun. Spinning it, pointing it at the suspect, doing everything wrong possible. Later she pulls it and holds it against the head of the DA. Then points it at herself. Using it as a pointing device. Constantly that gun is out – but I do not recall it ever going off (even that time I mentioned above where she had been fired upon – she couldn’t return fire because of cold hands . . . or something). The only explanation I can think of is that she actually has no bullets in the gun. But even then, good gun discipline says to treat all firearms as if they are loaded. I.e., don’t point them at your own head.
2) Rogers tries, as much as she can, to ignore or avoid orders. She lacks respect and discipline towards her superiors. I’ll just mention the avoid orders – several times Rogers learns of dead bodies that ‘should have been hers to investigate’ but no one can find her. Told to her by an assistant district attorney Marny Marlowe. Who, for the most part, seems to have no problem finding Rogers (weird how others can’t find her, eh?).
3) Breaking any and every law she wants, because hey, she’s a cop – giving cigarettes to underage people. Kidnapping kids (or, in other words, shoving 10 year olds into your car and driving off with them without asking anyone permission or otherwise mentioning what they are doing with the kid). Is this supposed to be funny or something? No? Just didn’t want to take the time to have the cop do the few things so it wasn’t kidnapping?

Of the crime scenes she visited: (1) the first one went uninvestigated; (2) she seemed to work on the second only when forced to do so by Perryman; (3&4) she rapidly determined who she thinks did the crime and roars off to get him – piss poor police work there (yeah yeah, same style used in that murder used by a guy Rogers arrested in the past; but 1) she investigates without waiting for backup and almost gets killed; 2) arrests ‘the fucker’; 3) the fucker didn’t do it; 4) evidence of who in fact did do it was on the crime scene – something that Rogers would have noticed if she had, you know, spent more time looking around; 5) the scene involving this incorrectly assumed murderer seems to only have been included so that Rogers could learn that two people were working together – she finds one of them . . . and never looks for the other and basically the only time that Rogers is actually shown ‘investigating’; (5) I’m not actually sure what she did regarding the fifth body found constitutes investigation.

If this is actually supposed to be a police procedural type of book – it’s showing a piss poor excuse for a police detective.

It’s marketed as a mystery, not a romance, but let’s look at that, shall we?

Romance
Jill Rogers, for lack of a better word, is a dick. Selfish. Me me me. Which doesn’t specifically address the romance question, eh? Sorry.

The activity that occurs in this book does not, really, constitute a romance. Which is fitting since this is a mystery not a romance.

Let’s see, what did I put in my status updates. I guess the romance is supposed to be between Jill Rogers and Sophie?
They have a bad horrible relationship, and while Jill is a massive bitch, Sophie isn’t exactly a good match for her. She seems to know, accidentally or otherwise, how to set Jill off. Hmm, I mean, get her to do stupid things that in turn cause Sophie to get pissed at Jill about. Having a woman that ‘accepts’ some (most?) of your bullshit is good. Having that same woman also be the cause of you almost continuously doing stupid shit isn’t good.

I want to make some comment about abandoning a woman, excepting her to wait for you, waiting something like six months before you return, getting pissed at them when they don’t immediately fall into your arms, getting even more angry when you spot a man there, thrusting yourself between their relationship . . . but I am unsure how to make said comment.

Sex
There are two sex scenes (well, I recall two). One involves the roughest sex I’ve ever seen involving two women who were acting in a consensual way, and didn’t involve some kind of BDSM relationship. The other one probably should just be ignored and wiped from memory (bah, repeated use of the word ‘turgid’ annoyed me; especially now that I actually look it up and see it doesn’t mean what I thought it did. Heh).

Humor
A lot of the stuff that happens in this book appears as if it was intended or included for humor. I am uncertain if that was in fact the case. I did, though, laugh twice. Hopefully this was not supposed to be a humor book.

The scene wherein Jill walks along beside a car as it ‘goes out of control’, as in continues in a straight line, on the road, but unable to stop . . . caused one gasp of a laugh to escape.

Then, during that strange second sex scene, a comment here or there uttered by Alastair caused me to laugh.

Overall
Well, this is going to be a tough section to write. Especially since I don’t know how to rate this book. Hmms. I liked the cat, Jonathan. By the 14% mark I realized I deeply loathed the main character, Jill, and that never really left. Didn’t particularly care about any of the other characters. Though I suppose I do not have any specific issue with Penelope or Alistair (however his name is spelled).

There wasn’t much in the way of a mystery. The police work was such that I fear police. The romance, if what occurred can be labeled ‘romance’, annoyed the hell out of me. The humor element seemed to be there, forced, and caused only a moment or two of laughs.

I’m inclined to give this book a rating of 2 stars. Which would be my second worst rating for a Bold Strokes Book. I’ve rated about six 3 stars, most as 4 or 5 stars, and one as a 1 star work.

March 11 2016
… (mehr)

This book here is my second book by this author.

This is a book about a hugely successful college basketball coach (Mooreland University Wildcats) who, and this is important to the story, is a bald black butch. Apparently powerfully built, physically fit, smokes like smoking will be outlawed tomorrow and she wants to get as much as she can beforehand, and drinks like there’s no tomorrow. Also chases every woman who is appropriately femme enough.

Characters
Nora Delaney is the 35 year old basketball coach mentioned above. Tall, powerful, orally fixated (cigarette, leaking pen, finger, she needs to suck on things) and currently living in Los Angeles as a basketball coach. A hugely successful basketball coach. The fact that she is a hugely successful basketball coach is the least believable part of this book – she has no impulse control, put a drink in her hand and she’ll drink it (no matter who puts it into her hand, or what is in the drink), put a woman in front of her, and she’ll fuck her (even if she doesn’t like the woman; even if she’d prefer to leave and hump a different woman), but most importantly, for a big strong butchy basketball coach, she sure is wimpy. In that, she has no ability to deal with people with strong personalities, who do not take no from her, who literally leap onto her back. This? This is a hugely successful basketball coach? Someone unable to control the situation or the personalities around her? A basketball coach, sure, but hugely successful?

Max Abbott is a woman who, despite the book description, is barely in this book as a character. She’s apparently quite voluptuous, has red hair, and is very pale in coloration. She is lusted after and stalked by Nora. Oh, and Max, for all I know, is as sex-crazed as the description describes, but she sure isn’t in this book. Everyone else is, but not her.

Michelle McKerr is Nora’s ex. And is the reason why Nora is in Tulsa, because Michelle had apparently been living there before she died . . . in L.A.

Darcy Tate is Nora’s contact in Tulsa. She’s hooked up with Ava-Suzanne Morgan-Frazier (girlfriend) and Jhoaeneyie Crosswaithe (friend). Ava is a musically inclined artist. Jhoaeneyie works in a gas station. Though tells everyone that she’s a shrink.

Sloane Weatherly is one of the people who knew Michelle and one of the people Nora talks with. She is also one of the few black people in Tulsa (maybe the only one she actually speaks with).

Jack Irving is a gay man Nora meets in the first bar she enters in Tulsa.

Amber is Michelle’s local ex. And a woman who enjoys disrobing and not taking no for an answer.

Lila and Reese are a couple. Kind of. Lila sings and has a restaurant. Reese is an artist who beds all the femmes in town. Nora doesn’t like either, though spends time with them anyway. Because, what the fuck, why not, right?

Tonya is Nora’s best friend in L.A. And, other than a few scenes in the beginning of the book, not really in this book.

Plot
Pussy hound Nora Delaney gets a call from her crazy ex-Michelle. Michelle wants her to ‘come here’ immediately. To help her. Course Nora thinks that Michelle is in Tulsa, and since Nora is in LA going to her immediately is kind of out of the question. Plus, Michelle is her crazy ex, not her crazy current girlfriend. Still, she sits up that night, wondering if Michelle really is going to come over (which she threatened after Nora refused to go to her) before slumping over asleep.

In the morning Nora heads back to the woman she had fucked the day before, for some nice breakfast. Upon returning to her apartment she finds that it has been trashed. Eventually learns that Michelle had been murdered, and immediately heads to Tulsa. Mostly so that she could be in the area Michelle had been in, definitely not to do anything grand like investigate her death.

Upon arrival in Tulsa, Nora immediately heads to a bar, and meets three of the oddest ducks in the world. Darcy, Ava-Suzanne, and Jhoaeneyie. Nora instantly takes a dislike to them, but sticks close to them like glue. Instead of, you know, fleeing in the opposite direction. Though she does make a few attempts, unsuccessful, to flee. Nora also meets Sloan, Max, and Jack in this bar.

Nora hangs out with Darcy and her gang, despite disliking all of them, and despite her desire to spend time stalking Max (which she has a tendency to do, stand outside her wide open window gazing up at her while thinking about how she wouldn’t allow her to do stuff (like have uncurtained windows) – that’s a theme for Nora, how she wishes to control others). Also, once she hears of it, she investigates the race riot that took place in Tulsa in 1921. And attends Michelle’s funeral. At no time, though, does she investigate Michelle’s murder (though people would occasionally slip information into her ear for no inherent reason; well, technically, she does occasionally ask people questions about Michelle, but about Michelle, not necessarily about her murder).

Overall
The constant daydreams by Nora about fucking people were annoying. Visiting Tulsa, and Nora’s reactions to the place were interesting. There are a lot of ‘characters’ in this book, and while I wouldn’t particularly want anything to do with any of them in real life, they were interesting to read about.

The book was more coherent than the other book I’d read by this author. It was easier to ‘take’ how poor the mystery part of the book was this time around, since the prior book I’d read involved many murders, and a police officer who seemed more determined to not work, than to solve crime. While this one involved a woman grieving the death of an ex, and one who actually noted, at least once, that she wasn’t investigating the death. So the lack of real investigation was actually expected. Still this wasn’t a mystery, so I’ve removed the book from that shelf.

To a certain extent, the greatest weakness in this book is the character of Nora. Specifically the part where she meets three people who she kind of likes in Tulsa, but spends the majority of her time with people she kind of despises and dislikes. Mostly by her own choice.

The ‘mystery’ of Michelle’s death is both logical and kind of stupid. But, meh. The book wasn’t about the mystery. But about the journey. Or something. Also, Nora’s quite insane.

May 10 2016
… (mehr)