Emma L. Smith

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, however I will try and keep them vague for anyone who hasn’t read the book yet.

I have Emma’s previous book and adored it, Undeniable was such a sweet heart warming story. The same however can not be said for My Own Worst Enemy, it’s almost like Emma said, so you’ve had your lovely heart warming story, now I’m going to rip your heart out. Believe me she did! After reading this I need something like three bags of buttons and a bottle of wine… but I don’t drink… screw it, pass me the bottle.

This book has four main characters, Beth, Ben, Trick and all the swearing.

First lets talk about Beth. This girl is screwed up, with a capital SCREWED and my first hint was in Chapter 4 when she didn’t remember something that surely if Trick meant that much to her she would have remembered each and every day of her life. The story of what’s caused Beth to forget the things that were once so important to her slowly unravel throughout the book, but I can tell you I truly felt every last moment of it.

It’s a testament to Emma’s writing I couldn’t help but feel Beth was a friend of mine telling me this story trying to get it right in her head. This girl is messed up but she has every reason to be, when she’s unsure about whether or not she wants to remember I too wondered if it would do her any good to remember what everyone was tiptoeing around not telling her. I felt like Beth was asking me the question, what should I do in relation to her making a choice in remembering or not, all I felt was misery for a friend who I couldn’t help as only she could truly answer that question.

The memories and Beth’s realisation of what was going on with her was heart breaking, I couldn’t help but want to save her from further heart break, but at the same point by feeling like she was pushing everyone away, or that they were leaving/abandoning her, she in fact ended up being a fair bit stupid. The same as most people who don’t truly understand all that is going on around them, every mixed signal taken the wrong way. It was hard going from being exasperated at her silliness to wanting to make it all better for her.

Trick however also went through an incredibly traumatic ordeal and would do anything for Beth, both now and in the past. The trouble is the one girl on the planet he wants in his life doesn’t remember him the way he remembers her. All she remembers is this boy she’s known for several years who is her brothers best friend, a musician and the person that no man can live up to. In Trick’s world Tink (his name for Beth) is the most beautiful woman in the world and the one he would wrap up in cotton wool to protect if he thought it would help her. Trick struggles as he is not a man of big words or grand gestures, his love and loyalty is what he has to give and he gives it without a second thought or wonder how it could hurt him.

I liked Trick but the character I ended up liking the most in the book and felt the most for was Ben. Beth’s twin brother is piggy in the middle, the poor soul is the one left picking up the pieces for both Trick and Beth. It has to be insanely hard for Ben to find the middle ground and somehow be involved but also let everyone find their own path. It also must be incredibly hard for him knowing Beth doesn’t remember the things he does, things he can’t talk about and things I’m sure tears him up inside. There is no way the things Beth has been through hasn’t hurt him, not to mention the things she puts herself through. I was so relieved when he said it was killing him inside.

Ben if anyone deserves happiness as much as Beth and Trick, and the only one you never hear about even looking at girl, as he’s so wrapped up in taking care of Beth. I would love to see a book with him in it where he gets an actual happy ever after, of course that would mean hearing more about Beth and Trick, but I can live with that because this man deserves for them to cause him any more hurt. He deserves for them to be there for him as he starts to sort out his own heart and feelings for another.

This was an incredible story, full of heart ache and misery, the romance is part and parcel of that so it is in the right category but only just. If you are looking for a heart warming, feel good story do not come here, but if you want something exceptionally well written and thought out this is the one for you. Emma puts these characters through hell but it rings true, like a true life story and as such the characters pop out of the pages and are sitting on the sofa next to you as you read it, no one more than Beth and Ben. A truly well deserved 5 stars.… (mehr)