Sarah Tate

This book chronicles the true story of Sarah Tate, whom has fallen for a seemingly wealthy and successful older man who is not all he appears to be. I’ll be honest; I wasn’t a huge fan of this book. The story is somewhat interesting but I’m not sure if it was quite compelling enough to write a book about it. I would possibly be more interested in a fictional book based on some true things that happened. The writing was just ok, but whenever there was dialogue there were way too many exclamation points, and it almost made the characters seem unreal. One thing I did enjoy was that it opened up my eyes to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is something I didn’t really know about. Suddenly I was seeing narcissistic tendencies in many people I knew, even in myself.

I’d recommend this to someone who is a fan of non-fiction and doesn’t necessarily need a well rounded story with plot twist and turns. If just the thought that this really happened to someone is enough to keep you interested and reading you’d probably enjoy this book. Also if you’re interested in mental disorders, particularly ones that might not be obvious at first like NPD, I’d recommend this book.

For a more in depth and personal review see my blog:
http://explanniefyfed.blogspot.com/2012/08/book-review-web-of-lies-by-sarah-tate...… (mehr)

Love can truly be blind. Sarah fell madly in love with an older man. It would have been hard not to. He was intelligent, well-off, and doted on her. Their world was perfect. Then they got married, and that's when the cracks in his veneer started to show.

In reading this story, I wanted to shout at Sarah to step back and really look at the man she'd married. But these things are always easier to see in retrospect (and in reading as the events play out). No woman wants to believe her entire marriage is based on lies. I commend Sarah for having the courage to share her story. I suggest everyone read this book, so you or someone you love doesn't become prey for a man like Sarah's husband.… (mehr)

Renaissance – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat and Think With Your Taste Buds – Desserts

‘My marriage had just fallen apart. It wasn’t like I didn’t see it coming. So why was I in complete and utter shock? The warning signs had been blasting out at me in fanfare for the past…oooooh, six years, or so? Why the hell didn’t I hear them. What was wrong with me that I ignored it all for so long? It was a hell of a wake-up call, discovering my fifty-four year old husband having cyber-sex with a twenty-four year old girl he’d met online. I suppose I should be grateful to her in a way. She gave me the shove I needed to finally take action and end a marriage that had been dead in the water practically from day one, if I’m honest. But I hadn’t expected the tirade of emotions that would come when I finally discovered that it was him, and not me, who had gone astray. Even until the very end, I had always (stupidly) believed he really did love me. OK, I know, he had a funny way of showing it. It’s one thing to make a declaration (or in his case, millions of declarations) of love. It’s quite another to actually mean what you say and follow your words with honest and genuine actions.

Sarah Tate found herself in a position that so many other women (and some men) find themselves in and struggle to survive through. Some make it and some fail. Sarah was one of the lucky ones who simply wouldn’t give up. What is Sarah’s problem? She is ending her marriage to the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. But to her surprise, she will not only have the responsibility to support and care for their 3 children but she will also be left with bills, taxes and commitments that he acquired by using her name. So the struggle begins and so do the side-effects.

In her book Web of Lies – My Life with a Narcissist, Sarah Tate opens her life to the world as she goes through an emotional roller-coaster with her husband Bill. She becomes aware that he really isn’t the person she met, fell in love and started a family with. In Renaissance she takes us, in detail, through the two year struggle to keep her own sanity as well as create some sort of normalcy within the lives of her three children. A lot of this even takes place while still in the marital home with the husband living in the basement. She takes you through the trials experienced as she breaks free from the toxic relationship that has threatened so many times to take her under. The problems experienced while trying to explain to her two oldest daughters as to why their daddy isn’t in the home and why he doesn’t bother to visit. She explains the importance of support not only through family but through friends and even therapy. She takes us through the 5 steps to recovery – Euphoria, Disquiet, Denial, Despair and finally Release.

In today’s time, the divorce stats are tremendously high and getting higher every day. As I read Renaissance, I found myself relating to so many of Sarah’s problems and feelings of helplessness. Whether you are or were married to a narcissist or not, I feel that just about anyone, male or female, can find something in common with Sarah and hopefully through reading Renaissance you will be able to see that you are or were not alone in your struggle and that her strength will help you to make the right choices for your own situation.

319 pages
2011
ISBN# 978-1456388171


Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat… (mehr)

Web of Lies – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat

‘The feelings of guilt and inadequacy came all too often. Of course, I considered ending the marriage. Thoughts of breaking free were frequent, usually at night when I was lying alone in my bed. But they’d quickly be replaced by the guilt. I genuinely believed that many of the problems we were experiencing were down to my own shortcomings. I’d get angry and frustrated with Bill, and I’d let my feelings show. I’d be grumpy and ratty. I’d nag him and complain about things. He would then feel ‘put down’ and ‘unappreciated’, which in turn lead to more self-reproach from my side. I’d often question him about his past, and this visibly frustrated him. To him, my questions showed that I didn’t trust him. And without trust, he’d said, we had nothing. I had to trust him. I had to put my faith in him, or we’d never get out of this mess. If I wasn’t standing by him, unquestioning and loyal, then I was exacerbating the situation for him, by undermining him. This in turn meant he was unable to ‘solve the issues’, and so the problem perpetuated itself.’

I don’t know the stats as to how many marriages end up in divorce but I’m sure they are extremely high. But there are still those marriages that probably should have ended in marriage and didn’t. I feel that most of these “sick” marriages are due to the wife and I’m sure sometimes the husband feeling that some, if not all problems have been caused by them. If I had only done this. If I had only been a more loving person. If I had only been more understanding. The ifs go on and on.

Even if divorce seems to be the only solution, many still have problems accepting the inevitable. They still feel they must take the full blame.

‘I’d been stripped bare. There was nothing left. I was functioning for the sake of my children, yet I was barely there as a person in my own right. I was losing control, and I saw no way of regaining my life. I wasn’t worthy of my children. They deserved better. I had brought this all on myself. I was being a victim. I lived to be a victim. I could never be a strong and beautiful person, because I was weak and pathetic. I’d allowed this to happen to me because of the type of person I was. I was looking for misery. I wanted misery. I must be craving it, and now the universe had delivered it. Misery. It was no more than I deserved.’
May of us go through bad marriages. I’ve been through a couple myself and as I read Web of Lies I found myself relating to Sarah’s life, feelings and self-disgust. If those of us who have been there will be honest with ourselves we can honestly say “been there, done that.” We find reasons to keep us in a “sick” marriage…kids, money, even not wanting to be accused of being a failure. But in the end, we are very possibly become a victim of a form of mind control.

In Web of Lies, Author Sarah Tate puts her own life out for public view. Throughout the book she expresses her self-loath and sees herself as a weak, pathetic person who deserved everything she went through. I personally see her as an extremely strong person. I can’t say how much I’ve enjoyed reading Web of Lies, not as one would enjoy a novel but as one would find while reading a book that seemed to really hit home for them in so many ways.

292 Pages
ISBN# 978-1456516680


Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat… (mehr)