When 15-year-old Vinnie’s parents divorce he tries to be supportive of each of them. But he’s having a bad year: he has a raging case of acne, the girl he’s secretly loved for two years moved to California without so much as a goodbye, his dog died, he got mugged and he’s failing gym. Could things get worse? Of course they could. His mother has a conference with the gym teacher, Mr B … and then another meeting … and then dinner. Now, suddenly they’ve married and they’re moving to Long Island for Mr B’s new job. On the plus side, they now live next door to Patsy – every boy’s ideal “girl next door” – though, of course, she’s dating the new football star and way too cool to talk to Vinnie. Or is she? A late-night phone call becomes a daily ritual, and the two begin to really confide in one another, though Vinnie remains anonymous.

This is a nice YA coming-of-age novel. Vinnie and Patsy are believable teenagers, though I did have to remind myself that it’s set in 1977 (i.e. before caller ID). Their developing relationship is sweet and shows that getting to know someone well is far more important than looks or physical attraction. The way in which Couloumbis has this anonymous friendship continue (and finally resolves it) is a little unrealistic. Also, while I get that the focus is on Vinnie and Patsy, the adults are really stereotypical and thinly drawn.
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After his parents divorce, high school junior Vinnie Gold moves to Long Island with his mother and new stepfather and must negotiate a secret crush and a rather complicated connection with the popular girl next door. ( )

Actual Rating: 3.5 stars

Despite not ever having heard anything about Couloumbis or Not Exactly a Love Story, I was intrigued. I mean, how many YA books do you hear about set in the 1970s? That's just not a popular era for historical fiction yet. At first, I wasn't too sure whether this was going to be something I would enjoy. Vinnie's narrative voice grated a bit at first and the plot does some...interesting...things, but in the end, Couloumbis won me over to her odd, unique, surprisingly sweet story.

When we meet Vinnie, his girl, the girl he's been crushing on, has moved away. His parents then announce their divorce. Vinnie doesn't take this particularly well. His previously high grades slip. He even fails gym, a feat he didn't think was actually possible. Of course, this means his gym teacher, Mr. B, has to meet with his mother about the situation. Then Mr. B and his mom start dating, marry, and move.

Vinnie immediately develops a crush on the gorgeous girl next door, whose room he can see through his window. Yes, he does peek. That's Vinnie. He imagines that she will go for him, even if he isn't a jock type. For the first day of his new school, he dresses to showcase his sweet style by wearing his rad leather pants. Mind you that this was in summer. Oh, Vinnie and his leather pants. This was one of those factors that sold the time period, and reminded me about how crazy the characters all must have looked (like photos of my parents in college). Sadly, though, Patsy, the neighbor, does not take any notice of him, focusing her attentions on the new football star, who Vinnie nicknames Biff.

Here's where things take a turn for the different: Biff obtains Patsy's number, but accidentally drops it in the locker room. Vinnie finds the number and takes it. He decides to call her at midnight, but can't bring himself to say anything. He calls back again, and fails again, now labeled a creepy breather. On the third call, she answers with acid in her voice, and he says something rude, because he feels like she's being to mean to a shy guy. The next night he calls at midnight again to apologize for what he said the previous night. Thus, a strange friendship is born.

Every night at midnight, Vinnie calls Patsy, and every night she answers, even though he is, for all intents and purposes an obscene caller. While I certainly wouldn't recommend this to anyone, it does bring something to Patsy's life and to Vinnie's that was missing before. With the anonymity they feel in the phone calls, they feel free to open up parts of themselves they generally hide from the world. The phone calls involve some humorous back-and-forth, like Patsy attempting to guess his name, which he tells her is Italian.

To add to the hilarity, Patsy begins to express some small amount in Vinnie Gold, his real life self, as well as Vincenzo, his obscene caller self. Vincenzo and Vinnie find themselves jealous of one another, and, for a while there, Vinnie looks like he's about to suffer a mental break. Though set in 1977, Not Exactly a Love Story has a lot of application in a modern teen's life, though rather than phone calls, such an experience would happen on the internet. It's a story about the schism between how you present yourself and how you are, and finding a way to see yourself clearly.

Just as important, Couloumbis tackles the subject of divorce. Vinnie, through the course of the novel, works through his emotions about the separation of his parents. He comes to realize, in a very realistic plot arc, that just because he loves both his parents that they don't necessarily make each other happy anymore. I love that he has not just two present parents, but three, as Mr. B totally steps up. Of course, all of the parents make mistakes, but they're just so obviously a loving family.

Audrey Couloumbis' Not Exactly a Love Story is a quirky book, full of heart and (not so) obscene phone calls. This a great read for those who enjoy a focus on family dynamics and a bit of weirdness. Or, perhaps, for adults nostalgic for the days when kids wore leather pants to school. ( )

LOVED this book.

The main character is a young man going through some crap, although dealing fairly well. He could use a break, or something good. Like an equally smart and quirky young woman. The popular crowd contains somebody who just might be more than what she seems - Patsy.

He overhears a jerk-jock at school bragging about having Patsy's number - which is unlisted. Jerk-jock slips the piece of paper in his locker as he swaggers away - but it falls back out. Our main character grabs it. Not to call her, of course. Just having her number is cool enough.

But then a few nights later, he does call. He freezes when she picks up, though, and all she hears is his breathing. An obscene caller! She gets pissed. Hangs up. Then HE gets pissed - can't she give a guy a moment to collect his thoughts rather than throwing accusations? He calls back. Twice. Then he figures he might as well earn the obscene caller comment.

The next night he calls back to apologize, although at this point he's too embarrassed to tell her who he is. She tells him he has a serious problem, first obscene calling, now phone-stalking. Nevertheless, he continues to call. Midnight every night. They both realize they're getting along really well, despite the most unusual start.

Will Patsy turn out to be cooler than her bitchy crowd? Will our main, dear, prickly, lovable narrator reveal his true identity? Will he be able to resolve his dual personality - interesting but distant at school - with his verbose, quirky, open phone-self? ( )

Liked that it was a quick read, with short chapters. Also, the title was true, because it wasn't exactly a love story.

Disliked that it revolved around phone calls that weren't believable. It had plenty of elements that teens could relate to today, but something about it being set in the past made it feel dated in a way that might not appeal to teens.

Readalikes: Not sure about books, but I kept thinking about Freaks & Geeks the whole time I was reading it. ( )