Hotel Manager: 'Now have you thought of what animal you'd like to be if you end up alone?
' David: 'Yes. A lobster.'

Hotel Manager: 'Why a lobster?'

David: 'Because lobsters live for over one hundred years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, and stay fertile all their lives. I also like the sea very much.'

Hotel Manager: 'Now the fact that you will turn into an animal if you fail to fall in love with someone during your stay here is not something that should upset you or get you down. Just think, as an animal you'll have a second chance to find a companion. But, even then, you must be careful; you need to choose a companion that is a similar type of animal to you. A wolf and a penguin could never live together, nor could a camel and a hippopotamus. That would be absurd.'

The Limping Man: "Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, where as my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn't make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I'd give her raw The Limping Man: Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, where as my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn't make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I'd give her raw meat. I knew that wolves liked raw meat, but I couldn't figure out which of the wolves was my mother so I used to give a little bit to each of them. One day I decided to enter the enclosure. I really missed her and I wanted a hug. I climbed the fence and jumped in. All the wolves charged at once and attacked me; all but two who stood motionless. My guess is that one of those two must have been my mother. The zoo guards got to me quite quickly and took me to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't lose my leg. I just have this limp, which is also my defining characteristic. My wife died six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too. six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too. "

Nosebleed Woman: 'I'm sorry, I've got blood on your shirt. But don't worry, there are many ways to remove bloodstains from clothing. One way is to rinse the clothes with cold water then rub with sea salt. Another way is to scrub the stains with cotton wool dipped in ammonia. The third way is to mix flour and water into a paste, like toothpaste, especially if the clothes are delicate or brightly coloured. But just never use warm water on blood, ever. '

Hotel Manager: 'How you like to spend your last night? What I always said in this situation is it would be wise to do something you can't do as an animal. For example, read a work of classic literature or sing a song you really like. It would be silly to choose, for example, a walking the ground or have sex intercourse with another person, those are things you can do as an animal. '