Like most collections of essays, Can You Tolerate This? is a book to dip into from time to time, but I’ve chosen to write about ‘Big Red, the longest essay in the collection because it’s so much about something I never had: brothers. Perhaps the essay is as much about being the youngest, observing the progress of older siblings in the world, but brothers seem to do things differently. In particular, there’s the problem of negotiating and interpreting the silence of the adolescent male.
The ‘Big Red’ of the essay’s title refers to a jacket worn by her brother JP. His name is really John-Paul, but in small-town New Zealand he gets razzed about that:

…his name, John Paul, was too much for most people to grasp. ‘John?’ they would say when introduced. ‘Ah, no – John Paul,’ JP would reply, but they would go on calling him John, as if righting a long-held mistake. Finally he might say, ‘Most people just call me JP,’ and everyone still calls him that. (p.47)

…
Despite his father’s exhortations that ‘You gotta have money coming in’, JP is a songwriter, getting by with a series of meaningless jobs. While her father is immobilised in their town by inertia, refusing to move even when his wife takes a job elsewhere, the boys eventually take off to see the world, leaving Ashleigh behind. Older brother Neil eventually goes to London where he spent his days typing and nights furtively drinking champagne and red wine at hospitality functions he worked as a waiter. For Ashleigh, yearning to be somewhere more significant, Neil’s emails are a revelation.

…In a way these emails reassured me that the world outside of New Zealand was still just the world. It wasn’t automatically special by virtue of being far away. People had jobs and ate meals and got drunk and fell in love out there. Life continued just as it did here, only with different rhythms and weathers. (p.75)

To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2017/11/12/big-red-from-can-you-tolerate-this-by-ashlei... ( )

Ashleigh has created a Wunderkammer of essays, all connected by invisible threads, all in her distinctive thoughtful voice. From growing up in Te Kuiti to skeletal deformity it's a pleasure to be in her company and see the world with fresh eyes. ( )