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This Is What It Feels Like

von Rebecca Barrow

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This tender story of friendship, music, and ferocious love asks: what will you fight for, if not yourself? You Don't Know Me But I Know You author Rebecca Barrow's next book is perfect for fans of Katie Cotugno and Emery Lord. Who cares that the prize for the Sun City Originals contest is fifteen grand? Not Dia, that's for sure. Because Dia knows that without a band, she hasn't got a shot at winning. Because ever since Hanna's drinking took over her life, Dia and Jules haven't been in her life. And because ever since Hanna left--well, there hasn't been a band. It used to be the three of them, Dia, Jules, and Hanna, messing around and making music and planning for the future. But that was then, and this is now--and now means a baby, a failed relationship, a stint in rehab, all kinds of off beats that have interrupted the rhythm of their friendship. But like the lyrics of a song you used to play on repeat, there's no forgetting a best friend. And for Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge--to ignore the past, in order to jump start the future--will only become possible if they finally make peace with the girls they once were, and the girls they are finally letting themselves be.… (mehr)
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A all girl group band? Complex and well thought out female friendships? It was like this book was made for me! ( )
  DominiqueDavis | Aug 9, 2022 |
It's not overstating things to say that I'm obsessed with this book. Rebecca Barrow's sophomore offering has more of what we all loved about [b:You Don't Know Me but I Know You|33293040|You Don't Know Me but I Know You|Rebecca Barrow|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1496273591s/33293040.jpg|49250164] (intense female friendships! familial Realness! queer girls of color!), dialed up with creative heartbreak, resilient dreams, and rainbow-haired swooniness. If you love girl bands, this book is for you. If you can't resist resourceful, even-keeled Mom Friends finally getting the big dramatic kiss with a dreamboat, this book is for you. If you're hungry for thoughtful representation of different kinds of teenagehood and different experiences of family, this book is absolutely for you.

Girls kissing girls. Girls kissing boys. Girls loving one another fiercely, in a myriad ways; girls building new relationships out of ash and out of green grass; girls creating themselves and changing their worlds on the way. Rebecca Barrow is one of my favorite voices in YA for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that her books aren't in a hurry. They unfurl like a time-lapse video of flower buds, beautiful and captivating. This Is What It Feels Like is a fantastic entry into the contemporary canon of youth literature, a pensive and humorous slice-of-life story with something for everyone, whether you're here for romance, family ties, or personal growth. ( )
  Menshevixen | Oct 13, 2020 |
Wow. This book was not at all what I was expecting. I picked up this book expecting fluff, and friendship, and music, and maybe a cute romance. While I certainly got friendship and music and a cute romance or two, there was also so much more to this book. And while there were a few fluffy scenes... this book was definitely not entirely (or even mostly) fluff.

So many layers. So much pain and heartbreak, but also so much hope. Relationships that were ultimately good, but also really messy.

There was so much to this book, and I am just blown away.

This Is What It Feels Like follows three characters, Jules, Dia, and Hanna. They used to be best friends, and now... they are most certainly not best friends. Well actually, Dia and Jules are still best friends, but they haven't talked to Hanna for over a year.

All three of these girls are fantastically developed, and have such wonderful character arcs!

Hanna - Hanna is a recovering alcoholic. She's desperately trying to earn back her parents trust, and is coming to terms with why she always turned to alcohol. Her character arc is SO GOOD.

Dia - Dia is a struggling teen mother. Due to her past, she has a really hard time letting anybody new into her life. Dia was definitely my least favourite of the three. While she definitely had a well developed character arc and backstory, I sort of felt she was... a little bit lacking in the actual personality department.

Jules - Jules was my favourite of the three! She's still getting over her ex-girlfriend, and admitting to herself that it maybe wasn't the most healthy relationship. Compared to the other two, she actually mostly has her shit together, but she still has an absolutely spectacular character arc!

Also the RELATIONSHIPS between the characters were amazing! The way the friendship between these three girls slowly reformed was beautiful! And each of their individual relationships with other characters were great as well.

I will say that while this book was wonderful, and I don't have a single real complaint about it, it just... didn't stick. I loved it while I was reading it, and for the few days after. I was blown away. I was in awe. This book was amazing. However looking back, I just... don't care anymore? Even though it was super good? And I'm sure if I went back and reread it, I would love it just as much. It just didn't leave a lasting impression on me is all. And that's why it's not five stars. ( )
  irisssssssss | Jun 17, 2020 |
https://theperksofbeingpeculiar.wordpress.com/2018/12/23/review-this-is-what-it-...

This was a refreshing read focusing on the individual’s experience of life after recovery. The book also talks a lot about relationships – the rekindling of the friendship between the three main characters Hanna, Dia and Jules; and also the development of romantic relationships. This was definitely one of my favourite things about the book. I felt like the girls showed a lot of personal growth and character development as well as the development of their friendship.

At the start of the book, I was worried that the background of the characters was going to be written in a stereotypical way – a recovered alcoholic, a lesbian and a teen mum. However, this definitely was not the case – I loved them all, and all three held their own unique voice in the book. I have to say though, Alexa – Dia’s daughter – was without a doubt my favourite character, she was just so cute!

I really enjoyed the ‘flashback’ scenes with Elliot (Alexa’s dad), which were introduced as new PoV chapters. After the first couple, I predicted that they were going to lead up to the scene where he died, but I’m glad they kind of ended on a more positive focus.

Developing on this, I think Dia’s trauma was written really well, as well as the anxiety that resulted from it. She was aware that all of her thoughts and worries were irrational but she still couldn’t stop them from affecting her, and this made the whole thing very real for me.

If I had to pick a favourite PoV I think it would definitely be Jules, because I loved reading about the romance between her and Autumn! They had such a healthy relationship, and I liked the fact that the book focused on the communication that happened between them that made it so positive. ( )
  perksofbeingpeculiar | Jan 17, 2019 |
Jules, Dia and Hanna were best friends and best band mates until sophmore year. Then Dia got pregnant and Hanna passed out drunk. Her parents had to send her to rehab and have been watching over her ever since, like a hawk.

Dia didn't want to hang with Hanna for fear her unpredictable behavior would harm her baby daughter. Jules remained friends with Dia and a mutual friend, Ciara, remained frients with Hanna. Dia, despite everyone's doubts, graduated high school, even with a baby to care for. Hanna has been sober for over 400 days, despite the odds. Although they miss each other, they never made an effort to reconnect.

The question is: will a fabulous band contest with major prizes be enough to bring these band mates together for both music and friendship? Rebecca Barrow wrote a nice story with likeable characters, including baby Alexa, a good plot and a nice ending. Since it takes place in the summer after high school graduation, I'd say it's a good beach read, but since I read it in the dead of winter, it's also a good winter read. Enjoy. ( )
  EdGoldberg | Dec 14, 2018 |
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This tender story of friendship, music, and ferocious love asks: what will you fight for, if not yourself? You Don't Know Me But I Know You author Rebecca Barrow's next book is perfect for fans of Katie Cotugno and Emery Lord. Who cares that the prize for the Sun City Originals contest is fifteen grand? Not Dia, that's for sure. Because Dia knows that without a band, she hasn't got a shot at winning. Because ever since Hanna's drinking took over her life, Dia and Jules haven't been in her life. And because ever since Hanna left--well, there hasn't been a band. It used to be the three of them, Dia, Jules, and Hanna, messing around and making music and planning for the future. But that was then, and this is now--and now means a baby, a failed relationship, a stint in rehab, all kinds of off beats that have interrupted the rhythm of their friendship. But like the lyrics of a song you used to play on repeat, there's no forgetting a best friend. And for Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge--to ignore the past, in order to jump start the future--will only become possible if they finally make peace with the girls they once were, and the girls they are finally letting themselves be.

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