his is a deeply distressing memoir to read: it's the story of Pattie Lees' early childhood of terrible neglect and then her sexual, physical and emotional abuse when she was made a Ward of the State. At times it is really difficult to reconcile the smiling face on the front cover with the story within its pages.

Daughter of a white philandering father and an alcoholic mother who was part Torres Strait islander and part Filipino, with some of her siblings fathered by different men, including a brother she knew nothing about until well into adulthood, Pattie's story is one of poverty, hunger, and being responsible for her younger siblings when she was barely old enough to look after herself. When her biological father moved them out to the suburbs, perhaps in a misguided effort to limit the mother's 'party-girl' habits, Pattie and the children were sometimes left alone for days. Her older brother Terry remembers these absences sometimes lasting a week; Pattie remembers it as less than that. But she also remembers that when they ran out of baby formula for Elin, she resorted to feeding her sugared tea.

Eventually authorities intervened, and when the initial orders for the children's welfare weren't implemented, they intervened again. Elin was taken to hospital with malnutrition, and the others were taken into custody. The text acknowledges that in these circumstances in those days, it was routine for children of any colour to be placed in the local lockup because there was nowhere else for them to go. Their mother was allowed to visit. But still... the idea of children being in gaol is repugnant. As Pattie remembers it, the people in the surrounding cells frightened the children, and no wonder.

The chapter which reproduces the correspondence about where the children were to be placed is chilling. Pattie's skin colour was fair, while Elin's was very dark despite having a very fair Nordic father. There was no question of foster care being available, and authorities seem to be more concerned about matching the children's colour to the institution than in keeping the family together. In Townsville waiting placement, her sister Johanne was fostered out, which led to a complete loss of contact for six years, and in the end, Pattie and her brother Michael joined their elder brother Terry on Palm Island, where he had been sent as an incorrigible child, without anyone telling her where he had gone. It was a huge culture shock for her, exacerbated by the very dark children who rejected her because they thought she was white.

The memoir is remarkable for the way that Pattie acknowledges the good along with the bad, especially the teachers who saw her potential.

To rear the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2020/10/24/a-question-of-colour-my-journey-to-belonging... ( )