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How We Met: A Memoir of Love and Other Misadventures

von Huma Qureshi

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You can't choose who you fall in love with, they say. If only it were that simple. Growing up in Walsall in the 1990s, Huma straddled two worlds - school and teenage crushes in one; the expectations and unwritten rules of her family's south Asian social circle in the other. Reconciling the two was sometimes a tightrope act, but she managed it. Until it came to marriage. Caught between her family's concern to see her safely settled down with someone suitable, her own appetite for adventure and a hopeless devotion to romance honed from Georgette Heyer, she seeks temporary refuge in Paris and imagines a future full of possibility. And then her father has a stroke and everything changes. As Huma learns to focus on herself she realises that searching for a suitor has been masking everything that was wrong in her life: grief for her father, the weight of expectation, uncertainty about who she really is. Marriage - arranged or otherwise - can't be the all-consuming purpose of her life. And then she meets someone. Neither Pakistani nor Muslim nor brown, and therefore technically not suitable at all. When your worlds collide, how do you measure one love against another?  … (mehr)
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I received a copy of this memoir from the publisher via NetGalley.

This was a sweet and thought-provoking read. It tells the story of Huma's twenties as she studies in Paris and then works as a journalist, loses her beloved father, and sometimes resists and sometimes complies with her family's desire that she meet suitable prospective husbands. The structure of the memoir makes it clear from the beginning that she marries Richard, not an Asian, and not initially a Muslim. I was thankful for this reassurance as at times (too many times for my liking) it seemed as if Huma was going to settle for one of a series of unsatisfactory matches proposed to her.

The poignancy of this memoir centres around the fact that Huma's family truly love her and truly want the best for her, and Huma knows this, but that still doesn't mean they welcome Richard with open arms.

Recommended. ( )
  pgchuis | Jan 9, 2021 |
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You can't choose who you fall in love with, they say. If only it were that simple. Growing up in Walsall in the 1990s, Huma straddled two worlds - school and teenage crushes in one; the expectations and unwritten rules of her family's south Asian social circle in the other. Reconciling the two was sometimes a tightrope act, but she managed it. Until it came to marriage. Caught between her family's concern to see her safely settled down with someone suitable, her own appetite for adventure and a hopeless devotion to romance honed from Georgette Heyer, she seeks temporary refuge in Paris and imagines a future full of possibility. And then her father has a stroke and everything changes. As Huma learns to focus on herself she realises that searching for a suitor has been masking everything that was wrong in her life: grief for her father, the weight of expectation, uncertainty about who she really is. Marriage - arranged or otherwise - can't be the all-consuming purpose of her life. And then she meets someone. Neither Pakistani nor Muslim nor brown, and therefore technically not suitable at all. When your worlds collide, how do you measure one love against another?  

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