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The Natural Laws of Good Luck: A Memoir of an Unlikely Marriage

von Ellen Graf

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5019515,082 (3.59)6
Ellen is forty-six, divorced, and having no luck with personal ads when her Chinese girlfriend comes up with a plan: she has a brother in China, Zhong-hua, who's lonely too. Maybe they'd like each other? Taking a leap of faith that most of us wouldn't dare, Ellen travels to China to meet him. Though they speak only a few words of each other's language, there's an unspoken connection between them and they decide to marry. What follows is a remarkably touching and humorous story of two people from completely different worlds trying to make a marriage work. Settling in at Ellen's ramshackle farmhouse in upstate New York, they quickly discover the cultural chasm that lies between them. Ellen and her teenage daughter decide to adopt a policy of nonjudgment as Zhong-hua lobbies to sell their refrigerator ("Just three people, no need"), serves them giant sea slugs for dinner, and brusquely nudges Ellen aside without an "excuse me" ("Family no need these kind of words"). Zhong-hua is not the type to offer his wife impromptu smiles or hugs, but in bed at night he holds her tightly like she's "something long lost and precious that might not live until morning." The Natural Laws of Good Luck is an unusual and exquisitely written love story--one that will resonate with anyone who has ever contemplated with wonder the spaces that exist between us and those we care about.… (mehr)
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First know this: it isn't all light-hearted fun. True, there are darling, funny moments when you can go "Aawww" at Zhong-hua's antics, and I will be the first to admit that he is indeed an endearing guy. However, Ellen Graf's take on her marriage to a man with limited English from a world very different from her own is very realistic and oftentimes harsh. Zhong-hua's struggles to become acclimated to a country that to him makes no sense most of the time has your heart aching. He struggles to learn proper English, he has a hard time finding long-term employment, and people are often very harsh with him because they don't understand his intentions. Then there's the matter of his health, and the invasive surgeries, and still, the man keeps picking himself up. Zhong-hua is a realist, but he also appears to be an optimist.

Marriage is hard work. Ellen and Zhong-hua's marriage is no different. I laughed out loud more than once (the deer incident had me reading aloud to B. in bed, and we both had a great big belly laugh afterwards), but by the middle of the book I realized that Ellen is speaking from the heart about those that endure many hardships and keep striving to win. It doesn't matter that we don't know what the prize at the end will be. It's that we keep striving to try to enjoy life with "hearts of fire." ( )
  quillmenow | Aug 4, 2012 |
Diese Rezension wurde für LibraryThing Early Reviewers geschrieben.
Unfortunately this was really not my kind of book. I hung onto it for a long time, hoping it would eventually click with me, but I found it difficult to track with the story. ( )
  lovemybooks | Jun 26, 2012 |
Diese Rezension wurde für LibraryThing Early Reviewers geschrieben.
I received this book through the Early Reviewers program here on LibraryThing. I have read most of it and plan to finish reading it when I can locate it among the huge number of books I have here at home. I love it thus far and will be delighted to finish reading it and will post a much more complete review at that time.

What an interesting and amusing memoir of an American woman from upstate New York and a Chinese man she meets through a friend here in the United States. She travels to China to meet him in person, spends a few days getting to know him and then, boom, marries him. He moves to live with her in the US and though they want very much to be together, he has much to learn about the culture of the everyday life in America and she has much to learn about the Chinese way of thinking about and living with your marriage partner. Poignant and funny experiences bring them closer together even as they are mystified by each other.

I recommend this book even though I have temporarily "lost" it. When it is found it will be welcome home and read and kept for a re-read. ( )
  womansheart | Jul 5, 2010 |
Diese Rezension wurde für LibraryThing Early Reviewers geschrieben.
I didn't find any warm fuzzies or even the hint of genuine passion here. Not to say that they didn't (don't) feel it, but the pages between the covers did not portray it to me. And, I didn't find any humor either. What I did find was a tangent-driven report of two lonely people who decided to make a life together.

I feel like Ellen compromised much more of herself in order to accommodate her Chinese man than he did for her. It's certainly her choice to do so, but it didn't make for a very enjoyable read. I'm not sure if Zhong-hua's lack of manners or insensitivity were apart of the Chinese culture or if they were just Zhong-hua himself, but they were peculiar to say the least. The best part was learning about Zhong-hua's experiences growing up under Mao.

I wish Ellen and Zhong-hua all my best as they continue to grow together.

Originally posted on: Thoughts of Joy ( )
  ThoughtsofJoyLibrary | Jun 13, 2010 |
Diese Rezension wurde für LibraryThing Early Reviewers geschrieben.
I wasn't sure what to think of the story when I read the synopsis, but I'm glad I put that aside, because this is a heartwarming story that I highly recommend. It is very unconventional situation that is hard for many of us to relate to. Give this book a chance - you won't regret it! ( )
  js1997 | Nov 7, 2009 |
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Ellen is forty-six, divorced, and having no luck with personal ads when her Chinese girlfriend comes up with a plan: she has a brother in China, Zhong-hua, who's lonely too. Maybe they'd like each other? Taking a leap of faith that most of us wouldn't dare, Ellen travels to China to meet him. Though they speak only a few words of each other's language, there's an unspoken connection between them and they decide to marry. What follows is a remarkably touching and humorous story of two people from completely different worlds trying to make a marriage work. Settling in at Ellen's ramshackle farmhouse in upstate New York, they quickly discover the cultural chasm that lies between them. Ellen and her teenage daughter decide to adopt a policy of nonjudgment as Zhong-hua lobbies to sell their refrigerator ("Just three people, no need"), serves them giant sea slugs for dinner, and brusquely nudges Ellen aside without an "excuse me" ("Family no need these kind of words"). Zhong-hua is not the type to offer his wife impromptu smiles or hugs, but in bed at night he holds her tightly like she's "something long lost and precious that might not live until morning." The Natural Laws of Good Luck is an unusual and exquisitely written love story--one that will resonate with anyone who has ever contemplated with wonder the spaces that exist between us and those we care about.

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Ellen Grafs Buch The Natural Laws of Good Luck: A Memoir of an Unlikely Marriage wurde im Frührezensenten-Programm LibraryThing Early Reviewers angeboten.

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