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This was interesting. I began reading it after a nasty misunderstanding with my spouse and found some helpful coping mechanisms within. The main reason I'm giving it just three stars is that it was focused so intensely on keeping the Aspie partner at ease and calm above everything else that I felt like it didn't address the fact that the neuro-typical partner also has needs which are just as important. I didn't like the fact that it seemed to be telling me the entire way through that my needs were secondary to my spouse. In my opinion, any relationship should be based upon equality regardless of the brain chemistry of one partner or the other. While I greatly appreciated the sections that did offer insights into how to better communicate--something that has always been difficult for us--I just couldn't shake the overall sense that the authors placed the Aspie partner in a place of higher importance. That's not how I want my marriage to work.

I fully admit that perhaps I'm too jaded and sad for this to have really been as effective as I was hoping it would be. As previously mentioned, there was some helpful advice, so if you find yourself in this type of relationship, it may be worth a gander. It just didn't entirely work for me.
 
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Melynn1104 | Jun 28, 2017 |
Communication and intimacy can feel like a constant struggle in relationships where one partner has Asperger syndrome. For the neuro-typical partner (NT) in particular, this can be an endless source of frustration, misunderstandings, and tears. Drawing on her own experience of being married to a man with Asperger syndrome, the author shows that the road to intimacy begins with letting go of expectations and looking after your own physical and emotional needs. She provides strategies for relating to and connecting with the partner with Asperger syndrome, as well as tips for coping with hurtful words and meltdowns, helping your partner to interpret emotions, and finding further sources of help and support. Above all, she shows that although your AS/NT relationship will challenge beyond what was ever thought possible, by letting go of expectations and respecting each others' differences, this partnership really can be both happy and successful.
 
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ThePinesLibrary | Apr 14, 2014 |
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