Humouress hoping🤞for kitchen adventures in 2023 - thread 4

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December

 61) Polgara the Sorceress by David & Leigh Eddings
✔     60) One Dark Window by Rachel Gill (2022)
✔     59) The Eye of Ksera by Sedigitus Swift (2023)

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 November 

✔     58) Greyhowler by Sarah Day (2023)
✔     57) Well Travelled by Jen DeLuca (2022)
 56) Thank You for Listening by Julia Whelan (2022)
 55) The Magician's Diary by C.J. Archer (2017)
 54) Thorn by Intisar Khanani (2020)
✔       53) Well Matched by Jen DeLuca (2021)
 52) Sabriel by Garth Nix (1995)

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 OCTOBER 

✔     51) The Watchmaker's Daughter by C.J. Archer (2016)
✔     50) Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree (2022)
✔     49) Legendborn by Tracy Deonn (2020)
✔  48) Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton (2016)
✔       47) The Lady Travellers Guide to Scoundrels and Other Gentlemen by Victoria Alexander (2017)

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September

✔     46) Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erickson (1999)
✔     45) The False Princess by Eilis O'Neal (2011)
✔     44) A Symphony of Echoes by Jodi Taylor (2013)
✔       43) The Proper Way to Stop a Wedding (in Seven Days or Less) by Victoria Alexander (2017)
✔       42) Closer to Home by Mercedes Lackey (2014)

August

✔    41) Well Played by Jen De Luca (2020)
✔       40) Lost for Words by Stephanie Butland (2017)
✔    39) Bastion by Mercedes Lackey (2013)
 38) Ruler of Naught by Sherwood Smith & Dave Trowbridge
 37) The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope (1894)
✔     36) Well Met by Jen De Luca (2019)
 35) The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan
✔       34) Stuck With You by Ali Hazelwood (2022)
✔     33) Happy Place by Emily Henry (2023)
✔     32) The Phoenix in Flight by Sherwood Smith & Dave Trowbridge (1993/ 2011)

July

✔     31) The Love That Split the World by Emily Henry (2016)
✔     30) The Benevolent Society of Ill-Mannered Ladies by Alison Goodman (2023)
✔     29) The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon (2019)
✔       28) King of Ashes by Raymond E. Feist (2018)

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June

 27) Mort by Terry Pratchett
 26) Belgarath the Sorcerer by Leigh & David Eddings
✔     25) Welcome to the Real World by Carole Matthews (2008)
✔     24) Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren (2018)
✔     23) The Apothecary's Poison by C.J. Archer (2017)
✔     22) You and Me on Vacation by Emily Henry (2021)
 21) The Clockwork Crown by Beth Cato (2015)
✔       20) The Clockwork Dagger by Beth Cato (2014)

May

✔       19) The High Mountain Court by A.K. Mulford (2022)
✔       18) The Mapmaker's Apprentice by C.J. Archer (2016)
✔    17) Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett (2018)

April

✔    16) The Watchmaker's Daughter by C.J. Archer
✔     15) The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

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March

 14) The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher
✔       13) Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Tania Hibbert
✔     12) Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman
 11) Kill the Queen by Jennifer Estep
 10) Book Lovers by Emily Henry

February

✔       9) The Wicked Wit of Queen Elizabeth II by Karen Dolby (audio)(2018)
✔       8) Into the Void by Tim Lebbon (2013)
✔     7) The Kings of Clonmel by John Flanagan (2008)
✔       6) The Clockwork Dagger by Beth Cato (2014)

January

 5) Seeress of Kell by David Eddings
 4) The Glasswrights' Apprentice by Mindy Klasky (2000)
 3) Spinning Silver by Naomi Novak
✔     2) Unforgettable Fifth at Trebizon by Anne Digby (1994)
✔     1) Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton (2016)

It certainly did not look like the type of place where genteel, older ladies were bilked out of their life savings. Nonetheless - India Prendergast narrowed her eyes - it was.

’Then you are aware that she and two of her dearest friends have started an organisation ostensibly to assist women with information and travel arrangements but in truth does little more than provide her and the other ladies a steady income? …
And did you know they are offering services they are not competent to provide nor do they feel compelled to provide? Which might be well seen as, oh I don’t know - fraud?’

India Prendergast was the exact opposite of everything he'd ever wanted in a woman. She was soundly practical, terribly sensible and horribly annoying. She knew everything, or at least she thought she did. She was stubborn and determined and overly concerned with propriety. And he had serious concerns over whether she ever indulged in anything he would consider fun. In very nearly every way he could think of, she wasn't at all his type of female, not the type he was usually attracted to.

The same night the monster child and Ahmed disappeared.
Fourteen years later, the time for the trials came. It was the way the Sultim, the successor to the throne, had been chosen since Miraji began. As per tradition, the twelve eldest princes were to compete for the crown.
...
On the day of the contest, the twelve sons lined up and the whole city gathered to watch. Then a thirteenth man joined the princes. When he pulled back his hood, he was the picture of Sultan Oman as a younger man and no one could deny his claim that he was Prince Ahmed, returned. No matter what suspicions surrounded the sudden return of the prince, the law of tradition was upheld. Prince Ahmed would compete, and the youngest of the twelve princes was expelled from the contest.
...
Ahmed beat the other eleven princes in the test of intelligence, a huge maze full of traps built in the palace grounds, and the test of wisdom, a riddle posed by the wisest of the Sultan's advisors. When he came to the test of strength, trial by single combat, Ahmed won every fight until only he and Prince Kadir, the firstborn of the Sultan's sons, were left standing. They fought all day, until Kadir surrendered. Instead of executing his eldest brother Ahmed spared his life.

They'd built a cannery there. Legend says they were open about a month before the First Beings who lived in the earth had enough and tore apart the ground under the town and flooded the ruins. The same thing happened everywhere. So after a while folks stopped building factories. Except in Miraji. Your First Beings are the only ones who seem to put up with it."

So I listened close as he told of a golden age when only First Beings roamed the earth. How, after time beyond counting had passed, the Destroyer of Worlds came from deep within the earth. She brought with her a huge black snake who swallowed the sun and turned the sky to endless night, and a thousand new creatures the monsters she called children, but that First Beings named ghouls. And when the Destroyer of Worlds killed the first First Being, he exploded into the first star in the newly black sky. God had made the First Beings with endless life, so when they learned of death they were afraid. That was the dawn of the first war, and as First Beings fell, the night sky filled. The Djinn, the brightest of God's First Beings, feared death so much, they came together and gathered earth and water and used the wind to mold a being and set it alive with a spark of fire. They made the First Mortal. To do what they feared most, but what needed to be done in any war: die.
So the First Mortal took up steel, and with it he beheaded the huge snake who had swallowed God in his sun form. The sun was released from the monster's throat and the endless night ended.

The same night the monster child and Ahmed disappeared.
Fourteen years later, the time for the trials came. It was the way the Sultim, the successor to the throne, had been chosen since Miraji began. As per tradition, the twelve eldest princes were to compete for the crown.
That was just over a year ago. My mother was still alive. And when news of the trials reached Dustwalk, even men who'd tell you gambling was a sin started placing bets on which of the young princes would win the throne.
On the day of the contest, the twelve sons lined up and the whole city gathered to watch. Then a thirteenth man joined the princes. When he pulled back his hood, he was the picture of Sultan Oman as a younger man and no one could deny his claim that he was Prince Ahmed, returned. No matter what suspicions surrounded the sudden return of the prince, the law of tradition was upheld. Prince Ahmed would compete, and the youngest of the twelve princes was expelled from the contest. That prince was named Naguib. I knew the name because when folks were betting on the Sultim trials, before the news about the Rebel Prince came, odds were that Naguib would get killed first in the trial. His prodigal brother might've saved Naguib's life by getting him expelled.
Ahmed beat the other eleven princes in the test of intelligence, a huge maze full of traps built in the palace grounds, and the test of wisdom, a riddle posed by the wisest of the Sultan's advisors. When he came to the test of strength, trial by single combat, Ahmed won every fight until only he and Prince Kadir, the firstborn of the Sultan's sons, were left standing. They fought all day, until Kadir surrendered. Instead of executing his eldest brother Ahmed spared his life.

So I listened close as he told of a golden age when only First Beings roamed the earth. How, after time beyond counting had passed, the Destroyer of Worlds came from deep within the earth. She brought with her a huge black snake who swallowed the sun and turned the sky to endless night, and a thousand new creatures the monsters she called children, but that First Beings named ghouls. And when the Destroyer of Worlds killed the first First Being, he exploded into the first star in the newly black sky. God had made the First Beings with endless life, so when they learned of death they were afraid. That was the dawn of the first war, and as First Beings fell, the night sky filled. The Djinn, the brightest of God's First Beings, feared death so much, they came together and gathered earth and water and used the wind to mold a being and set it alive with a spark of fire. They made the First Mortal. To do what they feared most, but what needed to be done in any war: die.
So the First Mortal took up steel, and with it he beheaded the huge snake who had swallowed God in his sun form. The sun was released from the monster's throat and the endless night ended.

They'd built a cannery there. Legend says they were open about a month before the First Beings who lived in the earth had enough and tore apart the ground under the town and flooded the ruins. The same thing happened everywhere. So after a while folks stopped building factories. Except in Miraji. Your First Beings are the only ones who seem to put
up with it."
"And what makes us so special?"
Jin shrugged. "Maybe it's because the desert's magic already comes out of fire and smoke instead of growing, living things. Or because the earth here is already dead. But the fact is, your country is at the crossroads between the East, where guns were born, and the West, where they're waging a war of empires. And it's the only one in the world that can build weapons on a massive scale. This desert is valuable. Why do you think the Gallan
are here?"
"So we're just one giant weapons factory to them?" The notion was unsettling.

"Our Vassal friends and their contemporary fiefdoms are the Order's lower limbs. Without them, we would not have walked through fifteen centuries of this war, would not have advanced from the Middle Ages to modernity. Pages are the left hand: once Oathed, you will be granted Sight in order to hold the shield while we fight in the shadows. Merlins are the right hand, the sword and fists of the Order. Our guardians and weapons against the darkness. The Legendborn Scions and Squires are the heart. The holy text of their Lines has fueled our mission from the beginning. The Regents are the spine, directing our eyes and energies to the urgent matters at hand."

"Our Vassal friends and their contemporary fiefdoms are the Order's lower limbs. Without them, we would not have walked through fifteen centuries of this war, would not have advanced from the Middle Ages to modernity. Pages are the left hand: once Oathed, you will be granted Sight in order to hold the shield while we fight in the shadows. Merlins are the right hand, the sword and fists of the Order. Our guardians and weapons against the darkness. The Legendborn Scions and Squires are the heart. The holy text of their Lines has fueled our mission from the beginning. The Regents are the spine, directing our eyes and energies to the urgent matters at hand."

'Yes,' said Abhorsen. I am a necromancer, but not of the common kind. Where others of the art raise the dead, I lay them back to rest. And those that will not rest, I bind - or try to. I am Abhorsen ...'

'Good,' Grandma Malone said. 'Then you and Lulu go off and have fun. You can come and find us later.'
'Oh.' I blinked and glanced over at Lulu. 'Um ...' There was no polite way out of this, was there?
'Are you sure?' Lulu's eyes were concerned as she leaned toward them. 'It's hot today. We can go back to the hotel if you want.'
'Not yet.' Grandma Malone sipped her water. 'I thought I could sit here and look pathetic, and maybe those kilted boys will come out.'
I choked on my sip of water, but Lulu just rolled her eyes and Grandpa Malone tsked. 'I'm sitting right here, you know,' he said.
'I know.' Grandma Malone spoke to him but looked at me, dropping a wink, and I fought to keep a straight face.

Part 1
Chapter One: "A Woman Goes on a Journey"
Chapter Two: "The Best Friend"
Chapter Three: "The Stakes"
Chapter Four: "The Makeover"
Chapter Five: "The Notorious Rake"

"Because we don't feel real to me. It feels like we fell out of a Romance tree and hit every trope on the way down."
He laughed. "Snowed In."
"Just One Night."
"Epistolary."
"Mistaken Identity?"
"Love Triangle."
She chuckled. "For a minute."
"I think that means we're on to Second Chance, no?"

Valdira sweet-talked her susceptible friend Taro into a longer-term loan of the flying wagon to which she had taken such a liking. That mission accomplished, they booked passage on a ship sailing back to the Continent (though several days passed before it could safely depart, as the competing gravities of two moons can have dangerous effects on the tides). Once there they caught a barge up the Vassata River to the Principality of Fendoran.

The flying wagon enchanted by the eccentric Tseren sorcerer Taro has passed into legend, in no small part due to the daring uses to which the Fendoric sorceress Valdira put it.

The Shepherd King had made seventy-eight Providence Cards in descending order. There were twelve Black Horses, held exclusively by the King's elite guards - the Destriers. Eleven Golden Eggs. Ten Prophets. Nine White Eagles. Eight Maidens. Seven Chalices. Six Wells. Five Iron Gates. Four Scythes. Three Mirrors. Two Nightmares.
And one Twin Alders.

For the Black Horse Card, for power and speed,
The Spirit wanted blood from my warhorse, my steed.

For the Golden Egg Card, abundance and wealth,
I bartered two years of my life's precious health.

The Prophet came next, the Card of foresight.
She wanted my fear, so I gave her my fright.

When I asked her for courage, the White Eagle Card,
I bartered my skin, which left my hands scarred.

So I begged for the Maiden, for beauty I prayed.
She asked for my hair, shorn off with a blade.

.....

Wary I'd grown, so I needed the Well.
She asked for a chamber - a place she might dwell.

To reclaim my good self, I forged the Iron Gate.
The cost was my armour, my golden breastplate.

For the Scythe I wanted power, and her price was quite steep.
I gave her my rest - she claimed all my sleep.

The Mirror was next, to be invisible - unseen.
She wanted old bones, so I gave her my Queen's.

But it felt incomplete, my collection yet whole.
And so, for the Nightmare ...
I bartered my soul